Getting into the Christmas Spirit

AC (http://iknownotwhat.blogspot.com/) (how do you get it to look like your name but be a link???) didn't tag me. Well, she un-tagged me? Uhm. Okay. She proved yet again that she is a sweetheart and wanted to tag me but didn't so I thought I'd take a minute and go for it.

1. Eggnog or hot chocolate? Hot chocolate.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Santa wraps the real gifts and puts the little stuff in stockings, like at AC's house!

3. Colored lights or white lights on the tree? I have white and red on this year. Much prettier than I thought it would be.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? Yeup. In fact, forgot to take it down last year and saw it in like, February so I decided to keep it up all year. Less to do this year, huh? You pegged me, redneck. (note: didn't get me any more action though!)

5. When do you put your decorations up? I try to get them up by my daughters birthday, 12/9. This year, didn't happen. All finished now, as of this past Monday.

6. What is my favorite holiday dish excluding dessert? Does wine count?

7. Favorite holiday memory? When I was around 5, my parents decided to use that spray snow stuff on all the windows. They put frosted lights that were colors like pink and teal and peachy around each one and they played motown Christmas music. It was very beautiful, even in the inner city where we lived at the time.

8. When and how did I learn the truth about Santa? What do you mean????

9. Do I open a gift Christmas Eve? This sounds dumb but it's actually quite brilliant. We open new jammies. That way the pictures on Christmas morning look much better:)

10. How do I decorate my Christmas tree? With mostly old style ornaments and some rustic ones and, of course, the handmade ones my kiddies have given me over the years.


11. Snow! Love it or dread it. It's cold but at least it's pretty. I like snow a lot!

12. Can I ice skate? Yuppers, like a champ!

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? The big pink teddy bear that was almost as big as me from my dad. He died that summer in a motorcycle crash so it was the last gift I got from him. I still have it.

14. What is the most important thing about the holidays for you? Getting to see all of my family. Everyone is spread out across the US and it's great that we all come together.

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert? Great grandmas raspberry pie or grandmas tart cherry cobbler.

16. What is my favorite holiday tradition? Playing games with my family after dinner. It's always girls against boys. My family is very competitive but real loving so it's a great time. GREAT time.

17. What tops your tree? A big ass bow that sparkles and has holly and berries all over it. Purty! It looks like one at the store.

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Giving.

19. What is your favorite Christmas song? My grandma singing Silver Bells.

20. Candy Canes, yum or yuk? Yucky

21. Who do I want to tag? How's about Shelli? And Dan, if you can find the time, I'd love it. Jeremy, I don't know how you'll work poop into it but I'm curious to find out. Dr. E is out of town so I'll spare her!

22. What is on your wish list for Christmas? To have my family and friends all find peace, love and happiness in the coming year. There is much to be grateful for.

Everyone, Merry Christmas! Be safe!

Hailey

Okay, so I've avoided this for a while. I hate writing this. I'm going to go through it very quickly to get it over with, okay? Please just hang in there and let me?

When I was with Tracy that morning, she asked me to listen to her vm on her cell. The messages, she knew, would be from her ex telling her about Haileys situation and that she needed to get there. Remember Tracy turned off her phone at 11:30? The vm started at 11:31 pm. I really am not even able to go into the messages other than I have never heard terror in anyones voice before. 13 messages. Her phone was off. Oh my God, I will never ever have my phone off again if I'm not with my kids. I now carry an extra car charger and wall charger every freaking place I go. I will not miss an emergency call.

Finally, around 1 am, someone went to Tracy's boyfriends house and got her. They raced to the hospital. She went into the room and saw Hailey on the bed. There wasn't anyone around her so she figured she was out of trouble. She went to her and kissed her and talked to her and Haileys little face was bloated. The stress? I don't know. When Tracy kissed her, she moved her head and heard her sigh. About that time, her mom who was sitting in the room started to bawl and told her that they did everything that they could. What? What? What do you mean? Tracy didn't know her little girl had died yet and it all hit her as she realized she wasn't there when Hailey passed away. I'm so sorry, I don't know if I can finish this.

Okay. What happened was she was able to inhale but not exhale. She couldn't expel the CO2. As a result, her lungs were filled and then overfilled. Did you ever take a blown up balloon and squeeze it? Know how there may be a spot where the laytex is thinner and it bulges out right there? Well, her lung did that and then almost instantly, it exploded. The force of the air took away the vacuum property that we have holding our parts in their places (see Tension Pneumothorax) and shoved her heart to the right side of her chest resulting in cardiac arrest, which was the actual cause of death.

That quick. But after hours of struggle and fear.

So, since then we've had Halloween and her momma had to take her 4 year old little sister trick or treating the day before her funeral. We've had Thanksgiving. And we've had a combo birthday party for the little sister and my Delaney last week. It was hell. Horrible. Trying to celebrate, yes. Realizing life goes on. But Hailey was a doll baby and we miss her. She won't get to be 10. Dammit.

We went through the Christmas gifts her mom bought her and gave them to the elementary school for some needy family. We cleaned up some of her stuff out of the room she shared with her sister. We have pictures and her dad and older brother got tattoos. We have all kinds of stuff to remind us of her. We just don't get to have her.

Thank you for your comments and support. Your help is incredible and I never thought I'd even have a blog but I am so glad I do. Thanks for reading about Hailey.