NASA and getting back into blogging

Hello!

So, it's been awhile.  I thought I was going to get back into this but honestly, it hasn't been easy.  I had a boyfriend that is bipolar and let's just say, it was a very high maintenance relationship... for almost 5 years!  Sad to say, I finally gave up.  You know how you draw a line in the sand or you say to yourself if 'this' happens, it's over.  Well... let me tell ya. 

April 2013, it's been a struggle getting there.  Breakups, other women, confusion, lots of being put down and lots of trying to learn everything I could to do to, well, keep it even keel.  What I learned, you can not keep it even keel.  It's not you that controls anything... like, ANYTHING.  Nope.  So, I learned how to cope.  And be very patient and tolerant and keep smiling and be kind.  'Managing'. 

At any rate, my line had been drawn last year in October.  I had told myself if he left me sit anywhere again (for real, it happened more than I'd like to admit) that it was over.  It's wrong to leave a woman at a bar, which is where he usually left me.

Fast forward to a lovely vacation in Vegas!  Yes!  It was awesome!!  The flights, the fun, the gambling and food and shows!  We met up with my friends Allie and her hubby, Stevie.  They flew from Alabama and met us.  They got us a free room at Ballys (cause they gamble a lot!) and I took care of most of the expenses with some of my income tax return.  It was so nice, comfortable, fun!  We found the 'secret' pizza shop!  We went for walks and talked and took a ton of pictures.  We got there on Saturday and on Tuesday morning, he was thanking me for putting up with him and telling me how much he loves me.  Nice change, him reaching out.  It was wonderful.  That afternoon, we went to the counter at Ballys to get the 'freeplay' that came with the room.  He was going to get $50 on a card to play in the slots.  Cool!  When we talked with the girl, there was some confusion as to him already having a card with them and I didn't so they gave it to me.  No bigs, he can have my card.  Although.... how did he have one and I didn't?  When I asked, he got very mad and said to let it go. I did... for a little bit.  Yeahhhhh, if you know anything about me (and most women) we don't just let things go.  So a couple of minutes later, I asked again- how did that happen, I don't get it.  Well.

EXPLOSION!!  He screamed at me in the middle of the casino floor!  Have you every heard a casino quiet?  I did.  Everyone stopped and looked.  Everyone.  I told him I don't know why he's mad, I don't know why he's yelling, can we please go up to the room and sit and talk.  He screamed he is not my dog, come, sit, come, sit.  WHAT???  I was so confused!  I saw this little old woman behind him on her seat putting her chin on her hands on the back of the seat and just smiling.  I was embarrassed!  I said please tell me what happened and he said to let the past lie and then he left.  He left.  Walked out.  A guy in the circle that gathered around us told me to let him go and get away from him. 

I went to the room because I didn't know what else to do.  I watched 3 episodes of Bones and then texted him and asked if he is okay, is he coming to dinner with Allie and Stevie and I?  He wrote back no.  ...okay....  So then I asked if he is okay and he said yes but I should pack because we are leaving early the next day and I probably won't want to pack in the morning.  Sounds good so I did.  Then I got ready to go.  Then I left.  I got downstairs and forgot the pretzels I had brought along for my friends from Philly so I ran back up to the room to get them.  Opened the door and what do I see?  Him, diving behind the wall by the bed.  I'm like- are you hiding??  He said no, it's his room too.  Yesssss, it is.  I asked if he waited till I left, was watching and he said no.  (lie, I know it)  Okay... so I ask if he wants to come along and he says no.  He is packing.  In the process, I talk with him a little and tell him it's okay, I'm sorry, I still don't know what happened but it'll work out.  He yelled at me because he couldn't find his room key.  I suggested he might have packed it and he threw everything back out and was just flipping.  He shoved it all back in and I said I was leaving to meet them and he said he's going to go out but not with us.  He started pulling his luggage and I asked what is up and he said he doesn't have a key so he wants to be sure he has his stuff.  I offered to get another one at the desk, he can have mine.  Or I'll call him when I'm done around 9 and we can meet up.  Or, he can get another one at the desk.  None of it suited.  And then he said he's not happy with me and he wants to break up.  He's done with me. He doesn't love me and he wants to be done.  Hmm.  I walked to the elevators with him and as we waited for it to get to us, I asked if he's sure, if he really wants to break up.  He said yes.  The doors opened and I said, well then, you get the next one, this one is mine and I got in, doors closed and down I went. 

I met with our friends and had a nice dinner and a bit into it, I texted him and told him what time I'd be back to the room, if he wanted to get in.  No response.  After dinner, they went to gamble and I went back to my hotel.  I got to the room and texted him telling him I was back. He responded with he is at the airport and changed his ticket and was catching the red eye out.  I asked what about the car and ride home (he was supposed to pay for gas, tolls and parking, btw).  He said he is going to take the train and I can figure it out.  Great.  So, he was leaving.  I told him since he was going to be home so much sooner, make sure he gets all of his stuff out of my house by the time I got home.  Anything he forgets, he can consider it mine.

We were over. 

The flights and ride home were not good.  I wasn't mad, just sad.  Honestly, a little relieved.  It was over.  Sad that it came to that though. 

2 days later, he came to my house.  He didn't understand why I was so upset.  Uhmmmmm he left me in another state?  He said that I travel for work all the time by myself and he knew I'd be fine.  I told him that it's because he doesn't get it that I can't be with him.  I can be his friend but not his girlfriend.

We talked a couple of times and decided to hang out once in awhile, as friends.  It was fine.  I had fun.  Then, 3 weeks later, he told me that he told his psychiatrist that we were dating. I flipped! I said we are not!  I'm over him and I'm past getting back with him.  I saw he was hurt, his face dropped and it was sad.  I felt badly and actually second guessed myself.  But then he sturdied up and said okay and left. 

I saw him a couple of times since, he owed money for breaking my brothers boat to have it fixed.  On my birthday in September, I heard he and his ex-wife were at a family function (his cousins got in touch and complained).  I don't know if they are still together but I know she has a few diagnosis herself so, to say the least, I bet it's full of drama!

Anyway, I'm dating.  One in particular but have someone else on my mind so nothing serious.  Just seeing how things go.  I'll tell you that story one day.

I wanted to get back into blogging and this is my begin again.  I want to do this NASA thing that has to do with social media (which I do social media for my work at New Horizons Harrisburg and also, my high school alumni association Red Land High School).  Hopefully, I will be one of 50 chosen to go and watch the next rocket launch on December 15 from Wallops Island, VA.  I am pressed for time right now, we are going to play volleyball tonight so this has all been rushed and I'm sorry for my crappy writing but here it is and it's a start!  So, have fun and I'll chat you up later! :)