for what??

Fathers Day

2008-06-15T19:35:00.003-05:00

I have a step dad that is competely wonderful. He's the absolute best thing my mom has ever done for my brother and I. I don't mean that disrespectfully to my mom, it's just how it is. I love him very much and am the luckiest person to have him in my life.

Every once in awhile, though, I just kind of wish my daddy was here. He died when I was 9 and I'm okay and all. I just know he'd be great to have around and sometimes I really miss him.

I saw him!

2008-06-11T18:29:00.002-05:00

Guess what? Last night was girls night out (the only guy, my uncle, was stuck driving so he was allowed to be along:) and we went to this little dive that I love. The bartenders are unbelievable. Seriously, they know how to make any drink you come up with. If you know a drink that you'd like me to try them out on, send it to me and I sure will! Anyway, we were there for a bit drinking our oversized sometimes free drinks when my phone rang. That woman that told me about the boy that was my first kiss called to say that he, Keith, would be coming to the pub that she was at for darts or pool or something that she plays. I told her to take a picture of him for me and she refused. So we did the only thing we could- we went to that pub. I saw him first and was like- wow, he really grew! He must be 5'10"! LOL He looked at me and kind of stopped and got this big dopey smile and you could tell he knew me but couldn't place me then he jumped (and scared me so I jumped too!) and pointed and yelled my name. It was so funny! Anyway, we hung out there the rest of the night and played darts and talked like crazy. He's working at a company where I used to work. That was interesting. He's got this adorable little boy and he showed me a bunch of pictures. He lives two streets from my aunt and uncle so they talked a lot too. It was so neat to see him! Everyone had a super time and we plan on getting together again soon.

****Update****

I had written the above on Wednesday and it's now Saturday. Here's where we're at. I'm going to a baseball game on Tuesday. I know, my first MLB game this season, wtf? Anyway- it's going to be a doozey! Boston is coming to Phila for the first Interleague games in who knows how long. I bought 2 tickets a little bit ago not knowing who I'd take but, if all else failed, I would take my best friends boyfriend Steve because he's a Boston fan and as a Yankees fan, I hate them but it'd be a good game with someone that likes baseball. I don't like taking people that aren't into it. I just don't. So, I had asked an old friend of mine that loves the Phils and he said yes. In the mean time, a customer of mine and I really hit it off and she's located in West Chester. Yes, where Steve-o from Jackass is from. Yes, where M. Night Shamalan won't go further than 150 miles from. Anyway, we planned on getting together before the game. I told her that I wished I had more tickets and I should buy a 4 pack and dump the ones I got. She talked to her boyfriend and said he's going to get the 4! YAY! Now, I'm going to the game with Krysta too! Alrighty. The two tickets that I already have, I called Steve, my best friends boyfriend and say- I'll give you guys these tickets if you drive and you have to stop to have dinner with my customer/friend for which you pay for your own meal. He said Hell yeah! We're all set. Or are we? Paul, the old friend, called yesterday to say he mouthed off to his boss and he can't leave work early so he can't go. Well, this sucks. What to do. How about- I call Keith, the first kiss guy, and ask him? He plays baseball, not softball. He's a total sports nut especially for MLB. Hmmm. Okay! I called him and guess who's going with us??? That's right, Keeder! This should be so much fun! Oh and Krysta said that now, a bunch of guys from Omni are going too. I get to meet a whole slew of my customers! One question.... I was going to wear a red strappy tank with a really cute white button down on top (Phillies colors) but it shows a bunch of cleavage. Will that be too much with all the work related guys there?? Let me know asap because I might have to shop!!!

3 weeks? Really?

2008-06-07T12:23:00.003-05:00

So, I was over reading someone's blog, as I do very often. I know I'm not around my own blog hardly ever and I don't want to hear crap about it, okay? If you have those counter or stat minder thingies, you know that I'm lurking if not actually commenting to all of you so nuff of the stuff, iight?? Okay, I was over on this (very interesting) guys blog and I saw he added me to his list of links. First, I'm really flattered (seriously cause we all know I'm not much of a writer and how bout boring, don't forget that!) and then I see it also says it's been 3 weeks since my last post. No way! I mean, I'm busy, sure but not enough to have 3 weeks gone already! Well, I think that's pretty bad for me to not at least say how my daughter is doing, if nothing else, ya know?

Well here I am to tell ya! :)

Denna is doing fabulous in Italy! She wrote to me the day before her birthday (May 24) to say she is doing great and that her new friends in the unit were taking her out for her 19th birthday. They decided to take her away for the weekend to ... Rome! I can't imagine how amazing that would be! I'm so happy for her and dag, talk about something cool to reflect on when you're older? I love that she wasn't alone and bored and sad and missing here. Okay, not completely true, I want her to miss us a little. And she does:) She said she even misses the rugrats (bro and sis) and even if it's lipservice, I'll take it! Since then, we've gotten a real address for her and sent her one big package of mostly snack foods that she loves along with cards and visa gift cards for her birthday. I don't think she's gotten it yet because we only sent it this past week but I'm sure she'll be in touch soon and I'll let you know what's uppy!

The younger two are both doing great! Drew has finished his first lacrosse season and they went to the playoffs. They blew it there but it's a young team and it's cool that they even made it. PIAA has adopted it as being a school sponsored sport in Fall 2009 so that will be just in time for him to start 9th grade and have a few years under his belt. I think it'll be a good situation for him. He's surprised me with how tough he is. He'll take a hit like a champ and keep moving. I've decided lacross is going to bump hockey a notch in my fave sports:) Grades are good and he is still the sweet guy he has always been. Still comes to me for hugs and kisses. I know that clock is ticking, him being 13 and all, so I get as many as he lets me!

Delaney is having a tough time with her hair. That sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? The reason? She washes and brushes it but it's always working on a rats nest in the back. For weeks I couldn't figure out what the heck was going on. Finally- I got it. I think I've told you guys about the 'blossoming' story. Well, she's still so modest and worked up over her boobies growing. I've got news for her- look at the women in our family, kid. You are out of luck if you think you're going to have cute little teeny breasts. We are... well endowed. It's a blessing and a curse. No, just kidding! It's a blessing:) Anyway- she has been wearing hoodies and sweaters all winter and even now. The hood of the sweatshirt makes her hair bunch up and then it tangles and it's a mess. I tried to get her to do ponytails and piggy tails but she hates them and just wants it down. We're going to talk about getting a hair cut. I love it long and beautiful golden with light brown undertones, great color and texture, wavy with little curlies on the ends. So pretty! But we can't have this, ya know? Anyway, she is sweet and dear and not as easy going as her brother but still loves to cuddle and have me rub her back. I don't mind. I like having her close.

We are totally ready for summer! The last day of school is Tuesday. Everyone is crazy excited! We don't have a whole lot of plans but I like to run around and do stuff so I'll come up with a couple few things, don't you worry! Plus, Hippo says he's gonna visit me. What could possibly be any better? Nothin, I'm sure!!

I had a funny thing happen recently. A woman I barely know was telling me about a dilemma she is having with not two but THREE men. Three. Anyway- she was saying how great they all are and how ever will she choose? LOL! I don't know ONE really great guy around here so how the heck does she find THREE? Besides the point. So, she tells me about one guy and I don't know him at all. The next one I know and he is actually a friend of mine. All good. Then she says the last guys name and I'm like- who? You're kidding. Where does he live? And guess what? The last guy was my boyfriend 30 years ago! Not like I was allowed to actually have a bf then but, every Friday night, I went to Hagys Fountainbleu Roller Skating Rink. It was THE place, trust me! So, every week, I would see this boy, Keith, and we would skate together for couples and then we'd each go back to skating with our separate group of friends and he was my bf. Uh huh. Big time cool especially since I was in 6th grade but he was in 9th! I was the sh*t with my high school bf that I never saw or spoke with any other time through the week, let me tell you! At the end of the school year, I was heading to my grandparents for a few months and he kissed me goodbye!! Just as we were leaving the rink, he gave me this big hug and laid one on me. A real one, too. Of the French sort. My mom was maaaad! But I was totally swept away. I heard about him a couple of times when I was in high school (he was a baseball star and his legend remained for many years) and even as an adult I heard his name twice but never ran into him or knew what he was up to. Just a part of my history that was history.

Anywho! She told me all about him and from what she says, he's got a really young child and she's actually not into that much. He's 44 now and she's 49 and his kid is 15 months so that is prob going to be a deal breaker for her. In the mean time, though, she is going to get a picture for me to see what he looks like as a grown up. I can't wait! He was cute as heck when we were younguns. I know, a LOT can happen in 30 years, how bout it? Still, it'll be fun just to see!

Can you hear that? Faintly, off in a distance....
If I can't have you, I don't want nobody baby, if I can't have you, uhhhh huh, no.....

Safe.

2008-05-12T19:25:00.003-05:00

Denna Boo called and left me a message today at 1:27 pm. She said Mom, Mommy (aww!) We got here at 11:30 and I haven't done much but sit in a car but it's really really pretty and I'll call you from a better phone in a day or two. I love you.

Not much but I know she's safe and she sounded really happy. Through my tears, so am I!

Have a great night!
dawn

She's leaving..........

2008-05-11T11:09:00.006-05:00

My eldest child, a female, has accomplished much for her young years. Denna is her name and she's always been beautiful and smart, very very funny but lazy as heck. Crazy, she drives me. Born in May of 1989, she is going to be 19 in a few short weeks. When she was 16, she told me she wanted to go into the military. Yeah, yeah, two years you can do what you want. She persisited and wanted to join early for a split entry program. That means going off to basic training the summer before the senior year in high school. Coming home, finish school then off to AIT the summer after graduation. From there, it's enlisted life. I wasn't going to make that decision for her. I wanted to let her wait until she was 18 and it would be her decision, possibly her mistake, if you will. I'm a big time fan of the US. My dad, brother, uncle, grandpa- all in the military. Not my little girl, ya know? Or so I thought.

She persisted and I told her to research, interview, find out what the real deal is then come back and show me. Convince me. All a ploy to keep her busy. Busy she was! She talked with newly enlisted and people who have been military for years, even retired from the military. She wrote down why she wanted to go and to what end. Turns out, she wants to be in the FBI someday. According to them, which she actually called and asked their HR what the best way to get a job with them is, having prior military experience with security clearances counted big, along with a college degree. Well, that all sounded good to me. I get my kid to do what I want her to (college) because someone else told her to. Okay, whatever, it works for me. Because she, for once, had some ambition (coming from me, it was amazing and irritating how much ambition she didn't have... up to that moment:).

I signed the papers. She chose the Army National Guard. I liked that schedule more, for sure! She went off to basic that June at a new 17 years old. Fort Jackson, SC. Hot, humid. Hot. They worked her butt. I got one letter the whole time, near the end. It was 7 pages long. I went crazy that summer not hearing from her but it was how it went. Nothing I could do. I hate that.

She did well in her senior year of high school, but could have done much better. She wasn't old enough at 17 to do the MOS (job) that she wanted in the Guard, you had to be 18 for that, so she chose Human Resources and Payroll. Good, solid, use in civilian life occupation. She went to AIT (in Fort Jackson, SC again:) and got her training after she graduated, came home and got a full time job with the Guard at Indian Town Gap in Harrisburg, PA. She rented an apartment and was making 48k. At 18 years old. GEESH. She did a lot of crazy hours for them, tons of paperwork and stood in front of guys twice her 103 lb size, making them work for her. Cool, huh?

So... this past February or so, she told me that she wanted to go active Army. Full blown, gone all the time, ACTIVE. Yikes. She said she is applying to an intelligence unit and they will interview her and decide if she can hang. This is what she needs for the FBI gig later. Shit. Okay. She moved home so she could do some stuff (like travel and hang with friends) and not have to pay for an apartment that she'd hardly be at. It was fun (most of the time, mother and daughter do have conflicts occasionally) and sad (for sure) and she left last week for the place she would stay until her orders came through. The Intel Unit accepted her and they are stationed in Italy right now. She flew to Ft. Jackson (again!) which was comforting to me since she's familiar and I've been there a few times and I love love love SC and it's just so okay for her to be there. She called 3 times. Once, I asked her about my new shoes and she admitted taking them. I told her I didn't even notice them on her when she left amidst the hustle. She said she wasn't wearing them, they were hidden in her luggage. Hmm. Funny but not nice. But nothing to do about now. I told her since her bday is coming up the end of this month, happy birthday. It's okay even if it's not right, it's okay.

She called today to tell me Happy Mothers Day. And that her orders came through. She is leaving at 5 pm for Vincenzia, Italy. 1 hour from Venice. North East Italy. She will arrive tomorrow at 11:30 am at her new home for the next 2 years.

Yeah, Happy Mothers Day.

I'm so proud. And sad.

Disclaimer

2008-05-07T08:22:00.004-05:00

As you may (or may not) know, I am a very upbeat, gernerally happy person. I am not mean and don't pick on people 'for real'. I am generous and helpful and sweet and kind.

That being said, check out www.despair.com

How's the new job, you ask?

2008-05-03T09:32:00.003-05:00

Ever have one of those days when you wake up and your head hurts so badly that you think you might hurl? That was yesterday for me. Oh yeah, I was out the night before but if you hang with me, you know I don't drink that much (3 is puhlenty) and I don't have hangovers anyway. This was something else entirely. Okay, so I was struggling through the day at the still-kinda-new job. I've been there a month now and there's still a lot to learn but they have me doing these projects that make me a seriously overpaid secretary but whatev. It got to be around lunch and there was no way I was going to eat anything. So, I was working on this same day deadline for an expo in Milwaukee and I needed a signature from the owner for the charge card. I went to his office and he was working diligently (Right). I asked for the signature and he was upset that I was expediting him. (Huh?) He doesn't like to be expedited. (Again, huh??) So, while he was 'explaining' that he, too, has deadlines and while he may look like he's not doing much there is actually a whole....... wait-I'll be right back! I went running from the room into the bathroom and blew stomach juice. Ewww. I have a toothbrush and paste in my desk so I took care of that and then went back to his office. First he said 'that sounded productive'. Then he asked if I threw up because he was yelling at me. Obviously he doesn't know me as someone yelling doesn't change my course of action whatsoever but I was tempted to say yes. I've never been the frail willow of a chick that gets all torn up so everyone kid handles and that was a tempting moment but he would soon learn how I really am. (I'm going to go with the word tenacious.) He suggested I go home but I declined. I (he) had a deadline I had to meet. Sides, I felt better!

In the meantime, really, I love the job. I love my boss and the people I'm working with. The industry is wayyy more interesting than I thought it would be. Wire and Cable. Who would have thought? They have so much potential, it's unbelievable. All of the business is inbound! No one develops new business and they have still managed to stay open. Amazing. It's an excellent product, obviously. I'm going to come off looking like some incredible genius that increases business by 40%. That's my plan anyway! :)

I have to get going... there's house cleaning to be done and then I'm taking the kids for new bikes. Then we may go to Gettysburg for a bit. It's battlefield season:) After they leave to go to their Poppyseeds (their dad), then I'll go out and have some fun.

I hope you have an excellent weekend!! Thanks and take care......!

Little girl.

2008-04-05T09:04:00.002-05:00

Can someone tell me how a little girl can be such a little wutz? She is 11 and can be the most disgusting person ever! Serious. All of her life, pretty much, she's belched like a trucker. Those big hollow bellowing burps that bounce back at you. Ohhh, if only that was everything. She owns a Stink Factory, ya know. She's found proper housing someplace inside her guts for the Factory. I've told her to save on overtime and send the workers home. I've told her to give them a holiday. I've begged her to please shut down production for one. single. day. She's, obviously, a slave driver. Hey, I didn't teach her that! For real, though, she knows if someone hears her belch (or whatever, ew) then they better hear her pardon.

Oh yeah, I told Shawn to hit the bricks on Thursday night. Nice guy but just not feeling it. And he's still hung up on his ex, I do believe. I saw Brad for a couple of minutes last night. He's sick and his rib is killing him. (cracked it coughing) but he's soooo funny! He asked me what I'm doing tonight and I am meeting up with friends but I may cut out early and head to the pub he'll be at. He's fun to hang out with. I want to watch the UNC game and as long as I get to do that, I'm good.

One of these days I'm going to write something interesting. I have some posts I want to put down but I'm not sure about putting things out there. I know I give a peep show every now and again but to pour my heart out, that's hard for me. There is a guy that posts that says a lot of things that I feel. I go back and read his stuff and it's interesting because he thinks in the same way that I do. The same patterns. I should give you his blog addy and then you'd see some of the things I think. In his 100 things about me, there are over 30 that are me too. I think he might be a good friend someday. Anyway! I promise, one day soon, that I will open up and give you something. Thanks for hanging in there though. Hippo- if you were still alive, I'd tell you everything about everything. RIP, my large as life friend.

New Job

2008-04-02T21:40:00.002-05:00

Hi there! I haven't been around with good reason! I started a new job on Monday and it's killing me! Not really but man, having a schedule that is on someone else's terms BLOWS! The job itself is relatively interesting and the people are really great, which is why I took it in the first place because the money isn't there quite yet. According to my new bosserooo, it will be. In 90 days. And I may be the fastest promoted person in the history of First Capitol Wire and Cable. Hmmm. I'm in sales and have zero experience in the field but the owner's training me and he is quite the impressive. Funny as all get out too! I need to get to beddy byes because tomorrow, I getsta be in the plant. For the next 3 weeks, actually. Making wire and cable. I think I'd like to be the Worlds Best Mistress of Thermocouple. (that sounds dirty, doesn't it?? Oh yeah!)

I had a date last night with Brad, the guy from NC and I have a date tomorrow night with Shawn, the reenactor historian dude that is actually my age. I had so much fun last night! I wish that guy was older. This is the first time in my life I have not been happy to be the age that I am. Nothing I can do about it though so oh well. If I was younger though, whooshemama! I'd grab that Southern Fried Chicken! :) Don't get me wrong, Shawn is really nice, super smart, makes me laugh. He said something on Easter about his ex gf that dumped him to go back to school in Philly showed up that day to talk about getting back together even though she'll be 100 miles away for 2 years. He's talking with her and that's no problem. Other than I now feel like a 'filler' and don't really see the point. Not that I want to settle down with him.... not that I wouldn't have if natural progression had been a part of anything. It just never got far enough. I told him on Monday night that I'm about to tell him to figure it out and then call me. He was upset so I told him not yet and we'll see. Whatever. I don't know.

Anyway, I need to head to bed. I'll be around probably on Friday. See y'all then!! x's and o's!

...hi there, You :)

2008-03-28T12:33:00.002-05:00

So. How's everyone doing? I've caught up on some of you and actually added a guy to the repertoire just because he's, uh, interesting. Hey, I'm sticking with that word no matter how nekkid he gets, iight? I have to say, it is really terrific to see what you've all been doing! Don't think that during the time I've been away that I've forgotten you!! I've had a computer blow up and then took internet away from the kids for...oh...8 months but you have been on my mind. The kids found out that we can live without the net! That made everything worth it! They actually don't mind when I drag them to a Civil War living history or take them to a museum or on a hike into The Wild. Well, it's not really 'the wild'. More like the Semi-Wild where there are homes within a 10 mile radius. They even come up with things to do and places to go sometimes! My son took up Lacrosse so that's cool. He's pretty good and way tougher than I would have guessed. You know what that means? He CAN carry the trash to the curb! Oh yeah, I got em now!

Anyway. Lots and yet not much has been going on. Where to start? Dr E, you were right. The last time we spoke, I was on my way to Sunbury, PA where The Hottie lives. I was caught on the fact that his remarried ex wife was totally psychotic and stalking me. Phone calls, following me, hacking my computer (hence the blow up) and then she was actually touching items of mine and kept breaking into my car... or had someone else break into it. So, The Hottie didn't want to hear about it and got angry that it bothered me so much and that obviously degraded our relationship. Then she hacked his Verizon account and they were going to press charges and he finally got pissed. Over 9 months of this crap until he gets mad. I really cared about him, still do. He's an amazing father and totally hot in the sack but person to person, he's just not the one. He made me feel like he was protecting her most of the time. Not me. It's just not how I want to be with someone. I don't mean I want somebody to fly off the handle and bust someone up but just talk to me and hold me and make sure I'm okay. Make sure I know that you're there for me. I didn't know that. I'm looking for something different, better.

One time, years and years ago, I was home with my babies. 3 little ones. I babysat other kids and made good money. My husband (now ex) didn't like me being home. He was mad that I got to sit around with the kids and play all day. Hello! Any single mommies know how you get to sit around with 3 of your own and avg 5 of other peoples kids? I'd love to figure that out. Plus, my house was clean. Anyway. He told me to go back to work so I was looking for a job. I went on about 4 or 5 interviews and just wasn't happy with what I was finding. They all offered me but ugh, I did not want to be back at a job that was micro managing again. I worked for PA Blue Shield in the GBU for 5 years and they wanted me to hang a flag up when I had to go to the bathroom. Then, if you were gone more than 2 minutes, they came to look for you. No thank you. The hub asked why did I think I'm so special to deserve a great job. I asked why he thought I wasn't. The beginning of the end. Anyway, since then, I just don't throw in the towel. I've been a department manager, a director, a COO and owned my own company. I sold my co last summer for a tidy profit and now have something at the patent office. I'm not sure what I'll do with it when it's ready but everything in the work life is good. I'm going to go to work for someone else real soon for a little while just because working alone all the time isn't for me either. Okay.... so where was I? I'm just rambling now!

Anyway, The Hottie. He is a nice person. I'd like to think we're friends. He recently told me that he wants me to tag in on a 3some with his new gf. He calls a lot even though we broke up in Sept, 07. (I don't answer 80% of the time) I asked him why and what does his gf think. He says she's in (yeah, I bet!) and he said he's told her how excellent I am intimately. Apparantly she can't get him off if she's on top or doing any sort of oral. He's suggested she learn from me. Nice work, dumbass. She's pissed and wants me to come so she can see for herself who I am. And cut me. Oh I know that is a bad situation. I wouldn't do it, or anything sexually, with him anymore. I know I miss his kids and I've gotten e-mails and letters that tell me what they're up to and how they miss me. My kids miss him and his kids too. We're all okay though.

Well, that was pretty personal!

Since then, on the guy scope, I've dated mostly younger guys. I got close to a 34 year old and found out he was a functional alcoholic. Not fun. Not functional in the bedroom. He did tell me that I could 'get some' outside the relationship so long as I came home. I told him if I do that, I'm just going to be with that person. Dumped him. Went out with a couple of other younger men and they were all very nice but not very interesting. I've been kind of dating this guy from NC and moving here for work. Now, he is super sweet! Smart. Interesting. A red head, which I never thought I'd think was cute but he's so funny that he's pretty adorable. Thing there is, well, he's 29. Just too young. His birthday is a week after mine and I'll be 42 before he's 30. I know, it's just a number, etc. I could still have babies and wouldn't mind if it's Mr. Right and he says he doesn't want a baby but come on. I'm thinking nah. Just friends is better there. Where are the guys that are my age and not falling apart?? They all (the ones that aren't married) just want to watch tv, sleep and take their maintenance meds. Seriously.

Alright, so this fall, in Sept, I'm going to The Upper Gauly for a white water rafting adventure. I've only been to Jim Thorpe and it's time for the big stuff. Anyone want to join me? It's supposed to be the best white water in the US. When they let loose the dam, it's all class 5. Look it up! Anyone that wants to come along, more than welcome! It'll be about 12 of us, mostly my crazy cousins (I'm the oldest) and some friends. Hotel or cabin is your choice. The Rivermen is the tour company we'll be with.

Oh! It's getting late and I have 25 people coming tomorrow for our delayed Easter Dinner. I have to get a few things cleaned up. My oldest leaves tonight for Alabama where she'll do her 2 weeks for the Army National Guard. She's going active Army in a few weeks and will be going to Italy for 2 years. She also had her own place but moved back home a couple weeks ago so she could be with us before she heads out. I wanted to tell you all about this stuff today but it looks like it's going to have to be... Sunday maybe? Or Monday night? I will catch you up on the monkeys!!

I'm sorry I have to run and I'm sorry I didn't go over this to clean it up and make it purty. I'll be baaaack!!! MWAH!

Hiyooo!

2008-03-26T19:19:00.002-05:00

I don't have time right now but I have to say IT IS SO GOOD to hear from all of you and read up!!! I really appreciate you all sending me messages and comments and yes!, I get it, I'll post something tomorrow. It won't cover even close to everything but...you'll read it and you'll like it. HA! I hope you will anyway:) Love you guys and thank you. I've missed this and you! mwah!

All good... for now.

2007-01-29T08:42:00.000-05:00

Hiya! How was your weekend? Me? Oh, pretty good, thanks!

This past Monday, I went to the doctors to find out what all the pain was about. I got in at 3:45. She was running a bit behind so she didn't get to me until 4:30. She came into the exam room and felt around my abdomen. When she pushed, she made me cry. It hurt soooo much! She asked how I got there. I drove. She said she'll have an ambulance come for me to take me to the ER. She wasn't sure if it was my ovary, a lymph gland or my intestine but it was very swollen and needed attention. I had to get a catscan. I asked if I got a ride, could I go right in and not do the ambulance thing. She said if I got a ride from her office, yes. I called my mom and made arrangements. Got a friend to come over with the kids. I arrived at the ER and signed in at 5:15. Around 5:45, did the triage thing and then got some blood drawn. I was in pain but not screaming pain. I could sit still in one position and it was okay. They were full but not brimming. My mother was driving me nuts bitching about the nurses. Whatever, Mom, time to be quiet now. She said the girl right inside the door, that her job must be to talk with her friends on the phone and she wanted that job. Well, that was it. It was going to be awhile so she should go home and I'll call her. No sense in us both just sitting there. She didn't want to go but I kind of insisted about how silly it was to know we will be wasting a couple of hours doing nothing. She left, hallllafreakingluuuyahh! At 9:30, they came and got me to put me back in a room. Wanted to know if I was preggers. Uh, no. It's 'that' time and yeah, no, I'm very sure. The doc wasn't convinced so he had lab run that on my blood too. At 11:30, he came back and gave me the news. I wasn't pregnant. At 1 am, he came into the room and said I didn't seem like I was in too much pain and I can go. He gave me a prescription for vicadin and sent me on my way. My doc called my cell the next day and asked how I'm doing, did I need surgery. I told her and she flipped. Apparantly, my insurance doesn't cover diagnostic care. If I had been throwing up or feverish, then they would have done something. In the mean time, they think it's probably a cyst on my ovary.

Since then, I've learned that vicadin is pretty groovy. I only took it at night because I couldn't sleep with all of the pain. The pain has actually subsided and I feel pretty good. I guess they were right? I'm not sure what that means next month or next year or whenever, but for right now, I feel okay. I can still feel it but it's not stabbing pain and I can pick up stuff and change positions without bawling so, okay. I'll just be a time bomb and see what happens.

Anyway, Friday night, my best guy friend Tom came over and we watched TV with the kids. He's such a nice person. We've never had any kind of attraction for each other but we have a ton of fun. I wish he could find someone nice. Nice being the operative word. I swear he only gets bitches that want to take his money. He has his own business and does pretty good, he's handsome to a degree (he is like a brother so... I don't really see that much.) Everyone agrees he's got a nice bod. (Like a brother or not, the boys body is hot.) He's super super intelligent and quite a cynic. And incredibly shy. I think that's part of the trouble. The only women that he talks to are the ones that come on strong and can overcome his quietness. Seriously, the first 6 months we were friends, I wasn't sure if we were or not. He was pleasant enough to be around but he never talked. Now he never shuts up! Anyway, if you know anyone down to earth, let us know. :)

Saturday, the kids left to go with their pops and I went up to see The Hottie. He is remodeling his bathroom so he can sell the house. Long story on why, has to do with his kids and his ex taking him back for more child support. It sucks when you can't afford a regular home because you're paying so much in child support. Anyway, he is doing what he has to do to take care of the kids the best he can... including paying more child support. He was working on the bathroom all day and he was beat. He was sick of being in the house the whole time so I decided to take him out for a treat. We went to the Hotel Edison. Ever hear of it? The first commercial building ever to be wired with electricity by Thomas Edison. Beautiful building but the owners are blowing an opportunity. That aside, they have pretty good food and a nice little bar area. We called his friend, Randy, who used to play for PSU and then sat on the bench for the Steelers. Randy came out and met us with some woman he was on a second date with. We were having fun drinking and chatting it up. I went over to play Megatouch. Ever play that?? We call it the Crack Machine. It is truly addicting! I like to be in first place on a couple of the games. Anyway, while I was over there (about 12 or so feet away), Randy went to the bathroom. I heard his date say that she bets my guy is good in bed. He responded with- 'She likes me.' She said 'I bet she does. She's a lucky girl.' and he was like 'Yeah, she's great.' Ohhhhhhhhh boyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. WHO is this woman? She is a customer service manager at a local newspaper. She is around 48. She is, what I would call, a 'handsome' woman with her bleached out fried up manly hair cut. Too much makeup (can you say spider leg lashes?). Wrinkled boobage hanging out. And there I am with my hair down, hanging in my face, hardly any make up and a plain green v-neck sweater and jeans. I was down home country girl looking. I should have maybe done it up a bit. I didn't say a thing. Randy came back and I finished the game (1st place, gets you a bonus play) and we both joined back up. She was all smiles. Suhlut. I hope Randy asks me what I think of her.

The next day, I was helping The Hottie nail underlayment for the flooring. It was time for a break and I asked what he thought of Randys date. He said she is not Randys type. I asked why not and he said she is fake and all about the show. No substance. He said she is not the type he could trust or tell things to. Good boy. He asked me what I thought and I just said I can't see being her friend. I don't trust her. He said I have good instincts. Actually, I have good hearing.

If I see her again... what do I do? The Hottie is going to move in with Randy for awhile after he sells his house until he finds a 3 or 4 unit apartment building that he likes. Any suggestions?

Thanks for listening.
~Dawn

You have a point.

2007-01-22T08:44:00.000-05:00

Okay, yes, I know. It's been a while. I've thought about blogging often, really I have. Everytime I have a few minutes though, I spend it reading one of YOUR blogs. All y'all, you know who you are. Cuz I comment, right? I'm a good fan! And truly, I am a fan of some of you. You really do keep it real on here. You are a fun bunch! That's one of the reasons I'm always on Summers shit to meet up for lunch or shopping (which I hate to shop but for you, Summer, I would shop). Kimmyk and I are going to hit the town this Spring in Pittsburgh. Oh MAN I can not wait!

So, a quick catch up is all I can do right now. Sorry sorry!

First, the kiddies. All doing wonderfully. Grades aren't quite what I was hoping for but I wasn't the best student myself. The oldest child, 17 female, in her senior year of high school, is driving me a little nutso with her attitude. Sometimes she is an angel but there are things that she will not budge on. Her room is a wreck. She never studies, never. These things drive me bonkers. I try to explain there are responsibilities throughout your entire life. You just have to do them. Period. She doens't agree. She's in the National Guard, yes the real deal, and has excelled at that. I suppose this is one of those times when I just need to let her get the knocks. I know she's going to be fired from a job or two because of her smart ass mouth and lazy butt. Her problem? I hope I can let it be her problem and not pick up every piece for her. The younger two are great. Fun. Not a lot of attitude most of the time. They got a go cart from their dad for Christmas, so they are loving it.

The Hottie is doing great. I swear, he has the perfect body. Perfect. Anyway. He's nice and oh so sweet. I got a couple of phone calls from an ex of his. She was trying to start shit and told me a bunch of stuff. A little bit of truth and a lot of lie. The time frame she was involved with him was misrepresented too. Plus, she'd call me at 11 pm or once, 3:20 am. Wake my kids up, bitch. Call at a reasonable hour and don't block your number if you want me to take anything you say into consideration. I asked him about it and it was a little uneasy for me for a little bit. Given my history with men, I wouldn't be surprised if the things she said were true. But.... I don't think they are. He told me about her and explained some of what she said (some not so comfortable to explain) (not that he exactly owed me an explanation except, I feel, on the things that would have been while I'm dating him) and he was patient most of the time. Some of it he says he has no idea where she came up with and she is lying. I believe him. He's not a liar. He's a good guy with a bad ex girlfriend. Anyway, 'trust but verify' is my method. I'm not completely comfortable but it's not his fault. It's mine and that I have a bad ex too. We'll see what happens. We're not making real long term plans or saying we love each other or anything like that. We'll just see. No rush.

So, Friday night I went out with friends and had a mostly fun time. I got cornered by some woman that thought a friend of mine was dating her ex husband. She cried and I had no clue what she was talking about but I listened. There was a lot of testosterone in the place. Lots of men all over. Compliments were flowing. I think they were all trashed. One guy just kept going on about my face and how much he loves my face. Scuse me, thanks, got a boyfriend though. Then he said I had the nicest rack in the place. Grrrreaaaat. Don't talk to me like that. He said it's a compliment. Well thanks, but don't talk to me like that. I was wearing a sweater. Not a low cut anything. A full fledged sweater. I drank sugar free red bull all night. Came home, couldn't sleep. (shocker) I had to wake up my daughter at 5 am for her to go to drill that morning. It was almost 4 till I went to bed but I got up to make sure she was awake. (the younger ones were with their dad, as the older one was supposed to be but because of drill, she decided to stay home at the last minute.) I went back to sleep and woke up at 8 with a sharp pain in my lower abdomen. I don't know what it is but I think I got a girl part going bad. Everyone else thinks it's a kidney stone. While I know they are so painful, I'd rather that then needing surgery of any type. This pain hasn't changed. No better no worse, since then. Stabbing pain though. Hurts. Moving hurts. Standing in one spot isn't too bad as long as it's the right position. Sleeping SUCKS. I tried to call the doc earlier but they weren't in yet. I'm going to try in a couple of minutes. I'll let you know.

So, there is an update, okay? Not the most exciting, I know. It's all I got right now though. I'll let you know how the dr appt goes. I hope all of you are doing well! Making happy things happen! :) Be in touch. I love hearing from you. And I'll be checking you out too!

Getting into the Christmas Spirit

2006-12-20T11:16:00.000-05:00

AC (http://iknownotwhat.blogspot.com/) (how do you get it to look like your name but be a link???) didn't tag me. Well, she un-tagged me? Uhm. Okay. She proved yet again that she is a sweetheart and wanted to tag me but didn't so I thought I'd take a minute and go for it.

1. Eggnog or hot chocolate? Hot chocolate.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Santa wraps the real gifts and puts the little stuff in stockings, like at AC's house!

3. Colored lights or white lights on the tree? I have white and red on this year. Much prettier than I thought it would be.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? Yeup. In fact, forgot to take it down last year and saw it in like, February so I decided to keep it up all year. Less to do this year, huh? You pegged me, redneck. (note: didn't get me any more action though!)

5. When do you put your decorations up? I try to get them up by my daughters birthday, 12/9. This year, didn't happen. All finished now, as of this past Monday.

6. What is my favorite holiday dish excluding dessert? Does wine count?

7. Favorite holiday memory? When I was around 5, my parents decided to use that spray snow stuff on all the windows. They put frosted lights that were colors like pink and teal and peachy around each one and they played motown Christmas music. It was very beautiful, even in the inner city where we lived at the time.

8. When and how did I learn the truth about Santa? What do you mean????

9. Do I open a gift Christmas Eve? This sounds dumb but it's actually quite brilliant. We open new jammies. That way the pictures on Christmas morning look much better:)

10. How do I decorate my Christmas tree? With mostly old style ornaments and some rustic ones and, of course, the handmade ones my kiddies have given me over the years.

11. Snow! Love it or dread it. It's cold but at least it's pretty. I like snow a lot!

12. Can I ice skate? Yuppers, like a champ!

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? The big pink teddy bear that was almost as big as me from my dad. He died that summer in a motorcycle crash so it was the last gift I got from him. I still have it.

14. What is the most important thing about the holidays for you? Getting to see all of my family. Everyone is spread out across the US and it's great that we all come together.

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert? Great grandmas raspberry pie or grandmas tart cherry cobbler.

16. What is my favorite holiday tradition? Playing games with my family after dinner. It's always girls against boys. My family is very competitive but real loving so it's a great time. GREAT time.

17. What tops your tree? A big ass bow that sparkles and has holly and berries all over it. Purty! It looks like one at the store.

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Giving.

19. What is your favorite Christmas song? My grandma singing Silver Bells.

20. Candy Canes, yum or yuk? Yucky

21. Who do I want to tag? How's about Shelli? And Dan, if you can find the time, I'd love it. Jeremy, I don't know how you'll work poop into it but I'm curious to find out. Dr. E is out of town so I'll spare her!

22. What is on your wish list for Christmas? To have my family and friends all find peace, love and happiness in the coming year. There is much to be grateful for.

Everyone, Merry Christmas! Be safe!

Hailey

2006-12-13T12:53:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I've avoided this for a while. I hate writing this. I'm going to go through it very quickly to get it over with, okay? Please just hang in there and let me?

When I was with Tracy that morning, she asked me to listen to her vm on her cell. The messages, she knew, would be from her ex telling her about Haileys situation and that she needed to get there. Remember Tracy turned off her phone at 11:30? The vm started at 11:31 pm. I really am not even able to go into the messages other than I have never heard terror in anyones voice before. 13 messages. Her phone was off. Oh my God, I will never ever have my phone off again if I'm not with my kids. I now carry an extra car charger and wall charger every freaking place I go. I will not miss an emergency call.

Finally, around 1 am, someone went to Tracy's boyfriends house and got her. They raced to the hospital. She went into the room and saw Hailey on the bed. There wasn't anyone around her so she figured she was out of trouble. She went to her and kissed her and talked to her and Haileys little face was bloated. The stress? I don't know. When Tracy kissed her, she moved her head and heard her sigh. About that time, her mom who was sitting in the room started to bawl and told her that they did everything that they could. What? What? What do you mean? Tracy didn't know her little girl had died yet and it all hit her as she realized she wasn't there when Hailey passed away. I'm so sorry, I don't know if I can finish this.

Okay. What happened was she was able to inhale but not exhale. She couldn't expel the CO2. As a result, her lungs were filled and then overfilled. Did you ever take a blown up balloon and squeeze it? Know how there may be a spot where the laytex is thinner and it bulges out right there? Well, her lung did that and then almost instantly, it exploded. The force of the air took away the vacuum property that we have holding our parts in their places (see Tension Pneumothorax) and shoved her heart to the right side of her chest resulting in cardiac arrest, which was the actual cause of death.

That quick. But after hours of struggle and fear.

So, since then we've had Halloween and her momma had to take her 4 year old little sister trick or treating the day before her funeral. We've had Thanksgiving. And we've had a combo birthday party for the little sister and my Delaney last week. It was hell. Horrible. Trying to celebrate, yes. Realizing life goes on. But Hailey was a doll baby and we miss her. She won't get to be 10. Dammit.

We went through the Christmas gifts her mom bought her and gave them to the elementary school for some needy family. We cleaned up some of her stuff out of the room she shared with her sister. We have pictures and her dad and older brother got tattoos. We have all kinds of stuff to remind us of her. We just don't get to have her.

Thank you for your comments and support. Your help is incredible and I never thought I'd even have a blog but I am so glad I do. Thanks for reading about Hailey.

Hailey Elizabeth Nicole Evans

2006-11-09T08:57:00.000-05:00

My best friends little girl. Hailey. 9 years old, the same age as my youngest, Delaney. The other day, Laney asked me why, everytime she has a best friend, something happens and she doesn't have them anymore. Keri moved. We moved from Amanda. And now, Hailey died.

Hailey. In all seriousness, I'm not sure I'm ready to write this.

Her mother and I grew up together. Same neighborhood, a middle america development on top of a hill that overlooked Three Mile Island. Great place to grow up. Tons of kids my age, all sneaking out at night in the summer to build a tree house by the light of the moon. Good kids. We didn't do anything wrong. No drugs, no alcohol (till later), everyone was friends no matter who their parents were. I moved there when I was almost 10, just after my dad died in a motorcycle crash.

Tracy and I were friends through high school even though she was a band front buddy and I was a cheerleader. (who was worse???:) After high school, we went our separate ways. We made choices that took us to different parts of the country. Then my mom moved to Florida and there was no more 'going home'. Life took it's own course and soon we weren't even in touch.

In 2001, my life and marriage fell apart. A few months later, I went out with this guy from France. Patrick. Handsome, wealthy, used to be a pop star in Europe. Just date, no serious. Still my friend. So, we go to a nice restaurant that has a big deck that overlooks the river. I'm not driving so, yep, I'm drinking. The waitress was a little less than attentive so Patrick went to the bar to order some festive beverages. He came back to the table and who delivered the drinks then? My Tracy! We were so happy to run into each other. It's been tight ever since. Tight. As if we never missed any time in the middle just about. Except we both have 3 kids and broken marriages. My oldest and youngest are the same ages as her oldest and middle. We became instant family again. All of us. Everyone got along (most of the time, they were like sisters and brothers so, yeah, most of the time) and we spent a couple days every week together.

Hailey. Sweet, a little quiet. Always kind and helpful. Generous. As she grew, she became an avid reader. She had asthma so being real active and getting riled up wasn't an option. She was bummed when everyone else was running around outside and she had to keep it low key. She always asked if I thought she would grow out of the asthma. She asked everyone, actually. That was her wish, to be able to play the same way with the kids when they were outside raising cain. In the mean time, though, she helped us out and hung out and became quite the little miss. Talk about girlie girl. Wow, such a little diva! She would dress up and do her hair and nails. She would wear frilly, pretty, sparkly anything. Everything. I love to take pics of the kids and my children do crap like make faces, hide their faces, look away. Anything to ruin my photo! (brats!) Hailey, though, always a big smile. Always looked right at you and posed just how you wanted. She took a great picture too! Big blue eyes and long light brown hair. Waif. She was slender and lanky. I always thought she might grow up to be a model. Beautiful smile. I wish I could post some pictures but I tried a couple of times and this damn blogger won't let me. Most of the time she was the only kid that was really in the picture. Everyone else was ducking and running so you'd get part of their legs or half of their head or whatever. And there's Hailey, smiling and looking, looking and smiling. At the park, on the boat, at Hershey, holidays, water park, picnics, just around the house......always smiling.

This little girl, she was my sweetie. We would talk. We had a great connection and could talk about anything. I miss her a lot.

Okay, so now I'll tell what happened because I have to. I can't talk about how great she is anymore right now because I just keep having flashes of her through my head and it's tearing me up. I need to go to clinical mode and just get through this.

So, Friday, October 27, Hailey was having a bad time with her asthma. She did that every spring and fall so this was no different. We've been to the hospital with her a few times. We've all done nebulizer treatments and raced for an inhaler at one point or another. This was no damn different.

She was with her daddy that day and spending the weekend with him. Along with the little sister, Jade, who will be 5 in December. I talked with Trace around 9 and she mentioned Hailey having a tough day with it. She said she'd call if they went to the hospital or anything. We planned on taking her kids to see my kids in a Halloween parade on Sunday. I told her to wish Hailey luck in her cheerleading competition the next day, sorry we couldn't go. At 11 pm, Tracy called Nick (the daddy) and asked how it was going. He said part way through the 4th treatment, Hailey took off the mask and asked for her inhaler. She then said she felt okay and she went to bed. Tracy was staying the night at her boyfriends and told Nick she was going to turn off her phone because the battery was almost dead and she wanted it for the cheerleading comp. No problem. All is well. She turned it off at 11:30.

I got a call at 4 something in the morning. The phone rang and I tried to answer. It was from an unknown caller, no # displayed. I missed the call. 10 seconds later, the phone rang from Tracy. She was quiet. I said hello again and she choked out 'Dawn'. I sat up and asked what's wrong, what's going on. I thought her and Steve got into an arguement. They don't fight but it could happen. She said Hailey died. ......long pause. I didn't think I heard her right so I asked what. She said Hailey died. No. What? How? What? No. No no no nonono.

Where are you? I'll be right there.

Okay. I had to call my mom for a ride. My car broke down the day before and that's the last time I saw Hailey, when her momma came to save my ass from walking 6 miles. My conversation consisted of "Hiya Sweetie, how are you? Good! How're those grades? You're going to be on the honor roll AGAIN?? Wow, that's cause you're such a good student! Great job little love! You always make me so proud!" Big smiles. That was it. I wish I had hugged her. She was in the back but when they let me off, I should have hugged her. Alright. So, my mom, who is usually not too nice, woke up and stepped up and took me immediately.

I got to Tracys parents house and Nick was on the porch. I walked up and he just started to bawl. I was out with him for a little but I had to get to Tracy. I went in and she was stoic. Her parents were there but not in the room with her. She saw me and started to cry uncontrollably. She missed it. She missed what? She didn't get to be there when Hailey died.

This is hard. I'll be back.

Attempting to blog.....again

2006-11-04T10:51:00.000-05:00

Okay. This thing. Blogger. I was getting totally disgusted so I stopped altogether but there has been so much, SO MUCH going on that I need to get this down. Imagine that. Me. Needing to write something.

I've tried posting blogs a bunch of times but when I hit publish it goes back to my sign in. Driving me nuts. I'm going to c/p this one and e-mail it to myself before I hit that damn button this time. Then I'm going to save as draft instead of publishing first.

Going back. Tuesday, October 3, I made The Hottie a birthday pie. Completely from scratch, crust and all. Blueberry, his favorite. I cut a 4-0 out of crust and put it on top. It was really cute and he was shocked. Happy. He's never had anyone make a fuss for his birthday so it was really adorable. All I could think was he's going to be beside himself that weekend when I take him away! Saturday, October 7, I took The Hottie for our first overnight thing. We hadn't really done anything other than normal date type stuff and this was a little getaway thing. I got to his house at 1 (he lives 1 hour and 15 minutes from me) and I gave him the photo of the old hotel that he's been searching for. It took so much work and calling all over to get that and then my uncle (a master photographer, look up Kirk Zutell) enlarged it and used his equipment to clean it up. It came out beautiful. Then we left on a lovely autumn day for Huntingdon, PA, about 2 hours away near Raystown Lake and not far from State College. We got lost along the way because... well, it's what I do. Everywhere the first time. (He didn't get mad so I thought he just might be a keeper:) Anyway, we eventually got to the B&B, Hemlock House. It was so pretty! Our room was separate from the house though. The converted Wood Shed! How freaking hilarious! And perfect hehe! Since he had worked that morning, he said he would prefer a quiet dinner with me. Good answer! I already arranged for the chef at the B&B prepare crabcakes, filet mignon, salmon and shrimp for dinner with a wildberry cheesecake for desert. NUM! I took along a couple bottles of wine and some Victory Brewing Company Hopdevil beer. We ate well, got schnookered and watched college ball. There was a little fireplace in our room that cast a pretty glow. It was excellent. The next morning, we had breakfast and then went to the Swigart Museum to see his favorite car, The Tucker. Well, not only do they have #13 The Blue Waltz Gown there but they also have the prototype, The Tin Goose. He was floored! I loved his face and we were there for well over 2 hours. Since the place wasn't busy, the guy that worked there actually opened the doors and hood and trunk and let us take all kinds of pictures, answered a ton of questions. I bought him a t-shirt and magnet and matted numbered limited photo for keepsakes. We stopped at an antique shop too but didn't find a frame for the photo of the hotel but we had a ton of fun looking! This guy is awesome. He's so nice!!

Okay, keeping with The Hottie theme for now. There is something else that has happened that I want to write about. Very sad. But I don't think I'll have time today. Plus, I am wiped out with grief and as I'm writing, I am thinking that I just don't want to relive it just yet. I will. This week, for sure. But not today, kay?

About Him:) Since then, we have been seeing each other about 2-3 times a week. We just hang out mostly, which is fine. With our hours and kids schedules, it's how it works out. I know we aren't doing anything or going anywhere but I still have a great time. Great time!

About 2 weeks ago (what kind of girl am I that I don't know the date??), we were talking and he told me that he isn't talking with anyone else anymore. Well, I hadn't been really talking with anyone else anyway by then and hadn't gone out with anyone else since around Sept something so cool:) I still didn't consider us actually exclusive, not sure why. In writing this, I guess maybe I should have? Anyway, this past Thursday it was made clear that he definitely only wants to see me. So, yep, I gots me a boyfriend! Oh yeah I want to see where it goes! He's very possibly the nicest person I have ever met. Oh, he has a bit of sarcasm going on but I like that:) I dish that myself! He's very loving and open and a truly awesome father. Helpful and courteous. Smart, funny as all get out. Generous with his time and attention. Logical and reasonable and doesn't jump to conclusions. Oh, did I mention patient and tolerant because that is what someone needs to be with me involved. Consistent. Are there any negative traits? Hmmmm. If I were a jealous type then maybe how other women come onto him. But that's not him doing anything but being the sweetest guy in the world. Of course they want him! Can't help what they do but he is not a cheater. Very down to earth and honest. So honest. It's great!!!

His body is perfect. No kidding, perfect. He's got the bod of a 20 year old. Not big and bulky but lean and muscular. Not too thin. 5'10". No belly at all. Yes, that absolutely means I have to get my ass into shape.

And his eyes glow. I mean it! I can see his eyes in the dark! It's amazing. They are bluish green and beautiful. Awesome smile. Gush gush gush!! Man I sound like I'm 15 years old. Okay, well, here's the thing. We were watching ball the other day and I was leaning on his chest with his arm around me. He kissed the top of my head and I got butterflies. Again. Uh oh! SCARY!!! That has happend a few times with him, including the first time I met him and I don't know what it means but it has a double effect one me. On one hand, I am scared to shit about opening up and letting someone close. I look for every excuse to run away from people. (I know why and I know it's wrong. It's just fear to trust because I haven't known anyone that I really have been able to. I'm working on it!) On the other hand, he is truly wonderful and I haven't felt that was since one time at the beach when I stopped in my tracks at 14 years old cause some boy and I caught eyes and my stomach flipped. He stopped too so maybe he felt it. My grandma turned around, grabbed my arm and pulled me away. The end. No clue who he is. Anyway, I wonder if my Hottie feels that. Do guys even get that way about someone? Can one person feel it and the other not? I'm not going to ask him. Maybe someday if we get married or something but that would be a long (long!) way off and lots has to happen in the mean time. Like, meet each others kids. We'll see!

I am going to get off of here and finish cleaning and then get my shower, take my kids to their pops and head up to see Him. We are going Christmas shopping for the kids together and then checking out a new house he's been looking at. Right on the Susquehanna River. My kind of place, I could keep my boat there:) Yep, time to go and get work finished so I can leave.

I'll be back soon! Let ya know how it went! :) Hope I didn't bore your socks off! Later Taters!

Last baseball game of the season....sniff

2006-09-15T07:54:00.000-05:00

Very early in the year, I buy tickets to various baseball games. I get about 6 games at various parks for a couple of, what I would consider, fun competitions. I'm on a couple of early bird lists for some clubs so I bought the tickets for last night on January 3. Way before they were avail to the general public. Going to games in Baltimore is usually more frequent than say Yankee Stadium due only to the closer proximity of the park. Though Yanks are my team. Hence the game last night. Red Sox at Orioles. I like the O's kinda and will root for pretty much anyone over Boston. Those fans are rabid and fun as heck to taunt. Of course, VERY innocently, I had conversations like 'Excuse me, didn't the Red Sox lose last night?' 'Yes' 'And the Yankess won, right?' '....Yes.' 'Oh. So Boston isn't going to the playoffs this year?' Being the dumb girl that I am, what do I know?? I'm just ASKIN'!

I saw something neat last night. Well, I thought it was neat. I think you can only get such an extreme effect like I had if you are in a place like a well lit stadium. It was drizzling just a bit, very lightly. I looked up into the sky and you could see each raindrop. The sky was very dark and the drops looked kind of white due to the lights. I've done that with snow but never rain. I could see a couple of birds flying pretty high up too. But the raindrops, it was like they were in slow motion and they were small enough that if they hit you in the face, it wasn't much but they were big enough to see each one falling to you. I used to joke and tell my kids to run between the raindrops. Last night, I could see between them:)

Pastor Chris that sat next to us was in excruciating pain all evening. He's the lucky lucky guy out of his group that got stuck on the end.... by us. Actually, he was hilarious and really nice. Aside from my girlfriend dropping the f bomb 9 or 10 times before she went to the bathroom and I asked what he does for a living. I told him oh wow, you must think we're obnoxious. He just laughed and said no, we are entertaining. GREAT. I tried to tell her before she swore like a sailor again and finally got the picture across right after another bombing. I'm glad I don't naturally swear the biggies, whew!

OMG! One more thing and then I'll let you stop reading. Okay, so I was walking back to my seat after talking with The Hottie for a few minutes. I had my backpack thing instead of a purse cause of the camera et al. (I've been using it lately) So I go to open the door (from the club box level, the indoor area) and I feel something like.... buzzing. I think it's my phone again and pull it out. Nope. So, I stand there a second and think to myself something is weird but I don't know what but I think I feel something coming through the floor. A vibration of some sorts that is peaking through the pack into my hands cause I can't feel it with my feet but I'm drinking so I don't know, maybe? Nah. I don't know what it is. So I decide to just forget about it and go to my seat (front row) and I get down there and all of a sudden IT HITS ME! OMG! I'm here sitting by Pastor Chris and my freaking vibrator is in the bag and has somehow turned on! OH NOOO! I started giggling so hard I was crying. Could I get it turned off without pulling it out or anyone knowing? Uhm, not sure. I reached inside and tried but couldn't get hold of it in the little silk baggie it's in so laughing like crazy, sooo embarrassed!, I ran up to the bathroom and took care of things. Meaning, turned it off! I was still laughing when I got back but mostly because I was so embarrassed. My friend asked what the heck was wrong with me. I started to giggle again and couldn't tell her right then. When we were walking to the car, alone, I told her and she all but fell over from lack of oxygen. All she kept saying was her f bombs were nothing compared to my vibrator. What would Pastor Chris say??

What? Hey, women everywhere have vibes with them when they travel. It happens, okay?

Okay, so last night. The Red Sox won but it was late in the game that they pulled up to a tie then broke ahead to win by 1 run. Boo hoo. It was exciting and fun. Great crowd, good mix, didn't end up in a pit of BloSox fans to deal with all alone. It was great. To top it off, the Yankees won as well. WHOO HOOOO!

Who's going to the playoffs??

Grandma Zutell

2006-09-12T20:58:00.000-05:00

Thank you thank you to all of you and your well wishes. I appreciate your support and friendship so much!

Grandma is doing FINE!! She had what the doctors are calling a 'miraculous recovery'! She had a stroke but it wasn't a major one. She had some trouble with her left side and we could barely understand her when she tried to talk although the really worrisome stuff was that she was babbling all kinds of things about a cat and didn't recognize anyone, didn't know who she was, called EVERYONE Karen, including my uncles. Then something clicked and she was fine. Really, everything worked, her speech was clear as a bell and she made perfect sense. How AWESOME is THAT???!

More tomorrow....

Thank you again to all of you that sent wishes and prayers. It means a lot to me.

Here ya go Kimmyk

2006-09-12T20:52:00.000-05:00

1. Favorite Beatles song: eh, not a huge fan. blackbird
2. Favorite Rolling Stones song: they're okay so Undercover of the night
3. Favorite Doors song: again, not much of a fan.
4. Favorite Bob Dylan song: Hurricane or the one inxs kind of did homage to
5. Favorite Led Zeppelin song: Black dog, the ocean
6. Favorite TV Theme Song: ballad of serenity - firefly theme song or the smiths/love spit love, How Soon Is Now - charmed theme
7. Favorite Prince Song: darling nikki
8. Favorite Madonna Song: all early stuff, Borderline or The Pretender. I liked Crazy for You
9. Favorite Michael Jackson Song: Beat It
10. Favorite Queen Song: Tie Your Mother Down
11. Favorite Motorhead Song: Ace of Spades (if lenny and god got into a fight, who would win?)
12. Favorite Ozzy Song: Dee or No Bone Movies
13. Favorite Public Enemy Song: Can't remember anything by them= except Flava Flav was in them.
14. Favorite Song from a cartoon: Eep Opp Ork Ah Ah from The Jetsons (I got it on my player!)
15. Favorite Bruce Springsteen song: Cadillac Ranch...... kinda. Not a fan.
16. Favorite Depeche Mode song: Personal Jesus (their only hit, right?)
17. Favorite Cure song: Just Like Heaven, Friday I'm In Love, Love Song
18. Favorite song that most of your friends haven't heard: Banditos by The Refreshments
19. Favorite Smiths song: How Soon Is Now
20. Favorite Beastie Boys song: Sabotage or being a yankees fan No Sleep Till Brooklyn
21. Favorite Clash song: Hot Get Along get Along dammit can't remember the real name.
22. Favorite Police song: If I have to pick one- Spirits in a material world
23. Favorite Eurythmics song: Would I Lie To You
24. Favorite Beach Boys song: 409
25. Favorite Cyndi Lauper song: True Colors, She Bop or Goonies
26. Favorite song from a movie: Send Me On My Way - Rusted Root- Matilda (weird Movie) and Other movies too or Teacher Teacher by 38 Special
27. Favorite Duran Duran song: Hungry Like the Wolf or Save A Prayer
28. Favorite Peter Tosh song: Who? Don't know him either.
29. Favorite Johnny Cash song: Bridge Over Troubled Water w Fiona Apple
30. Favorite song from an 80's one hit wonder: Don Johnsons Heartbeat. I'm SO Kidding! Really I think Till Tuesday, Voices Carry or Martin Briley, You Ain't Worth The Salt In My Tears
31. Favorite song from a video game: most of grand theft auto is cool
32. Favorite Kinks song: Don't know. The one that they talk about looking down and dancing
33. Favorite Genesis song: Abacab (sp?)
34. Favorite Thin Lizzy song: Cowboy Song
35. Favorite INXS song: Devil Inside
36. Favorite Weird Al song: The Night Santa Went Crazy (he actually wrote this one:)
37. Favorite Peter Gabriel song: In Your Eyes-Say Anything Soundtrack
38. Favorite John Lennon song: Imagine or Woman
39. Favorite Pink Floyd song: Time
40. Favorite cover song: Love Spit Love cover of How Soon Is Now or My Lips Are Sealed by Poe very cool
41. Favorite White Stripes: 7 Nation Army
42. Favorite dance song: Days Go By
43. Favorite U2 song: Anything before he got outspoken. When Love Comes Around (w BB King)
44. Favorite song from an actor turned musician: Rick Springfield pretty much everything
45. Favorite disco song: Lippz Inc.- Funky Town
46. Favorite Power Ballad: Mr Big- To Be With You, Def Leppard- Hysteria, Kix- Don't Close Your Eyes, Skid Row- I Remember You, Tesla- Love Song
47. Favorite Guns N' Roses song: November Rain (wouldn't that be a great sex song?)
48. Favorite The Who song: The Real Me
49. Favorite Elton John song: Benny and the Jets
50. Favorite song, period: Can't possibly pick one. Like a Rembrant by Badlees?
51. Favorite Sting song: Set Them Free
52. Favorite boy-band song: Boyz II Men Can't remember the song though. I Miss You?
53. Favorite Metallica: Seek and Destroy
54. Favorite Cars song: Moving In Stereo
55. Favorite Tom Petty song: You Got Lucky
56. Favorite Bon Jovi song: Wanted Dead or Alive, Runaway
57. Favorite Jazz song: Abbey Lincoln everything she does
58. Favorite Janet Jackson song: Nasty Girl
59. Favorite song from the year you were born: California Dreamin' by The Mamas and the Papas

Thanks for playing. Your turn?

Stop the clock.

2006-09-09T07:19:00.000-05:00

It has been one heck of a week+.

I have a bunch of things to talk about like SC and my birthday last week and the hottie and I'll probably get back to all of that. But right now. I want to talk about what happened last night.

So, Friday evening it was. The house phone rang. Well, that phone is never for me so I didn't bother to even look in the direction of the machine. Next thing I hear is my mom saying it's an emergency to pick up. I looked and no phone so on the speaker phone I jump. She asked me if I knew my daughters Welcome Back party wasn't really a welcome back party. I'm thinking HUH?? I'm usually pretty quick to follow along but WHAT is she talking about and how is this an emergency? I have no idea what you're talking about, Mom, what do you mean? So, the welcome back party she has been planning for weeks isn't for her. It's for me. It's a surprise 40th birthday party. WOW! Like really WOW! My mom throwing something like that for me? WOW!!! And it's cool because the cousins from all over the US (CO, MD, FL, NYC, philly), my aunts and uncles from everywhere including my faves from NJ, found out about 30 of my friends, holy wow, everyone is coming. Okay so why are you telling me? It's tomorrow. And you're telling me about my 'surprise' birthday party. Then time started slowing down. Ever have that? Every single word was completely pronounced. I could hear the air forming around her words. My grandma. 84 years old, healthy lady with no meds no complications living by herself. Grandma Zutell. She had a stroke. The party is canceled. Like I care about that party. Please, is Grandma okay???

At that point, we didn't know anything. She had just been taken by ambulance to a hospital. We didn't even know which one. The upside because there IS an upside: My Aunt Janet was there when it happened. The ones from NJ. My grandma lives alone and sure, we all call and drop in but there is no schedule. Some days she gets 10 calls and then goes for 2 or 3 days with nothing. It's always been fine because she is a busy little lady. She gardens (the city brings people by to see her flowers, the college brings students, it's that gorgeous) and she gambles. She is an Atlantic City Queen with gratis rooms and food every time she goes, which is like 2-3 times a month. She's feisty and wonderful and the kind of grandma you adore. She is everything a grandma is supposed to be. Strong and smart while being sweet and approachable. She's so loving and family is first. Family is always first. My grandpa was the love of her life. When he was in the hospital and all of us were there for days, it was her that held us all together. She was losing her partner and she was still the one that held us all in her arms and comforted us in our loss. She'd touch his face while he laid unconcious, dying from the bleeding that wouldn't stop in his brain and tell him what a wonderful husband and father he is. She'd call him Darling and Lover and talk about how he never let her down. He was always the only one she loved and she was happy to be his wife and mother to his children. That was when my kids dad and I were splitting and I knew that he and I were not right for each other. I want something like this, like what my grandparents have. Had. Have.

So, the cat scan didn't show much but they said that's normal. That it's usually a few days till things show good on them. This morning she is going for an MRI. That will give more conclusive information. There is a nurse at the hospital who says her brain has all kinds of lesions and cavities. God, she's 84. I think she's supposed to have some wear and tear showing, isn't she? She said she can't see how my grandma will recover and we should all get ready. She said my grandma is racked with dimentia and it won't be long. Well, Grandma is talking all kinds of crazy stuff but hey, she's talking. She's even moving all her parts a little bit. This nurse isn't who I want near my family. The last time we were at this hospital, I can not begin to tell you how wonderful those women were. They let us all be with my grandpa and were supportive and kind. They even brought us food and snacks. They went so far above and beyond. This woman doesn't belong there, not with them, not with us.

My little brother, the pilot, is on the phone finally. We couldn't get ahold of him. I need to talk with him. I'll be back soon. Thanks for listening. Really.

Time to go, almost!

2006-08-30T07:45:00.000-05:00

Wow, it has been busy! My two-step sisters wedding on the 19th was great! The reception was held at the Antique Automobile Club of America in Hershey, PA. I'll tell you what! That was incredible. Beautiful. They cleared an area in the lower level and it was so pretty. We were surrounded with 'sets' that they had cars in. Like an old time gas station. A Coca-cola drive-in restaurant. A 1940's street. There was the one for the Hudson. What a cool car?! A Nash. (seats laid entirely flat- not with my daughter around!) And the bus from Forrest Gump is there. There is a rumor of a Tucker but I didn't see it. I'm going to find it and go see it. Did you know that car has a helicopter engine, modified of course. And it was the first car with seatbelts. And there is a center headlight that follows the motion of the steering wheel. I'm going to see the movie Tucker too.

Last weekend, I was supposed to go to Bristol, TN for a nascar race. I'm not a nascar fan but I'd like to experience that. Didn't work out as my kids dad got hurt at work. Can't leave when you think the father of your children might not make it. He is an electrician and got zapped. The hospital stay was more for observation, to be sure he didn't have a heart attack. He's fine and wasn't hurt as badly as they first thought. Better safe than sorry, for sure. I never want anything to happen to him. My dad was killed when I was 9. I don't want my kids to go without their Pops. So, anyway, I think there is one in richmond that my friend said she'll get me a ticket for but that is a busy time and I don't know if I can swing it.

Today I'm leaving for Columbia, SC. I'm picking up my eldest child from basic training in the Army Nat'l Guard. On Friday she graduates and then, if it's not crazy hurricaning, we're going to Myrtle beach for Saturday day. All of my kids will be staying with their dad down there for a few days and I'll be coming home Sat night, my 40th birthday, to PARTY it UP! A bunch of my friends are taking me 'somewhere' and all I know is to bring a change of clothes and expect to be drunk. I'm a lightweight with the booze so as long as I don't puke, I'm good. I hope it's Philly. I haven't been there much this year.

I'm going to Baltimore for an O's game (vs Red Sox- go O's cause I'm a Yankees fan!!) on Sept 14th and that will be some kind of fun play at Inner Harbor. Actually, a few blocks back from the Harbor. Jeremy, I'm going to chow on crabs, be thinking of you buddy! Actually, no matter where my friends take me, it will be excellentay!

Sunday night, gots me a date with that hottie again. Yeah yeah. Saw him last week twice. Broke the one week self imposed sorta-rule. If I had timed all of this right, I mighta actually got an 'O' on my big Four-Oh. But, no. I'm really not ready for that. I mean, yes, sex, yes yes ready for sex, oh yes! But I'm not ready for a relationship. Soooooo. Damn me and my morals. I don't know. I mean, I want to have sex. I want to have a relationship. I want to have sex. (did I already say that?) And this guy is really nice, so sweet, very good looking, hot as heck bod, nice job, owns his house, good kids, super father. Holy crap, what is my problem? I think because he lives 70 miles away and winter is coming and school has started, my time for goofing is cut way back. No more late weeknights. Our weekends with/without kids don't exactly match up although it does a little every other week. And I definitely am a girl that when we have sex, I develop an affinity that may or may not be valid. Best to not get mixed up in all of that just yet. Best to wait and see what's what. Besides, the next time I make love, I want it to be just that. So, next year, I'll have a Big Forthy-One-Oh. And maybe get an 'O'! (I'm a proponent of the mandatory sex rule too, ya know. If I'm with someone, that is.)

I'm really not a good writer! I reread and I'm like- man I wish I could write like Amber. I'm pretty busy too. Right now I need to leave and go to a Target or Walmart and get a cooler. If they still have them. I'm looking for the slim but tall kind that will sit behind the car seat. I used to have one but it's gone. I haven't seen it at all this season. How do you lose a cooler?? I hate to shop and I'm sure no one will have one left so I'll be running around to different stores wasting time and getting pissy. I can't stand Walmart ever so that is the last place I'll try... and probably where I find something that isn't what I want but will work. Story of my life.

Okay, really, I have to get a move on now. I've gotten calls and have wasted a large part of my day. So, I'm outta here! I'm going to have a blast... And I hope that you do tooooooo! Take care, everybody, enjoy the time off work and with your friends and family!

Sheeya!

The ride home

2006-08-17T18:24:00.000-05:00

The ride home from the concert. Well, traffic. And then more traffic. Then we got out of town, onto 476 and guess what? 3 lanes of highway being necked down to 1 and yep, traffic. So what should have been a 15-20 minute drive takes just over an hour to get to the turnpike. We enter the turnpike, I get the ticket and we're off. I didn't drink anymore alcohol other than at dinner but hey, I gotta go. I mean it. Really badly, I gotta go, now. The PA turnpike is famous for it's kidney-bursting-30-miles-to-the-next-rest-area. Grrreat. FINALLY we get to Peter J Camiel (I always wonder who he is, I should look it up. Someday.) Rest Area. Wheweeebubba, thank you holy Jesus. I grab a coffee cause it's my turn to drive and it's like, 1 am. I've been up since.... what...... 4:30 am. Yeah, I get freaky when I'm excited and can't sleep when big things in my life are happening. Like a concert. I'm only 8 on the inside, folks! Now the 'event' is over and my body is crashing. Expresso brownie, anyone? Yes please! It's prob just over an hour to my house yet. (I'm also spacially challenged so really, I have no idea how much further or how long it will take. I think that was around mile marker 303?) Drivin drivin, happy with the replays of the Foos on 94.1 WYSP and the cool tunes in between. We get to Gettysburg exit and what happens? No ticket. Noticketnoticketnoticket. If I would be the type to say the big bad words, that would have been the time. Hippo, please fill in the blanks for me? ____ _____ ____ _____ ____ _______ ______ _____ _______ _____ _________ _____ _______ _____ ___!!!!!!!!! I tore that car APART. Keep in mind, it's not my car. It's a friends that has 4, count em, 4 kids. 4 kids junk in a little honda. Plus the case of beer I bought at VBC, the two other specialty beers that are belgium-like in that they are 'wine-ish', the soda pop bottles and candy wrappers and a big ole baby seat and dammit, the ticket is nowhere. That's bad. You pay the full price of the pike when you do that. That's around 30 so dollahs! This guy, asked me where I came from, I showed him my concert ticket. He said he saw me come from the West bound lane and so--- he won't charge me the whole pike amount, just the $12.75 it would have been from the top of the extension. I can live with that brother!!

I got home in the nick of time. That means my mother didn't kill me but she really wanted to. (not new) It was 2:32 when I walked in the door. Sleepy me! Tom went home and mom went home (in a flurry of those words I dont typically say) and I went back to my room and changed, brushed my teeth, washed my face and couldn't sleep. I ended up reading up on you guys for an hour or so and then passed the heck out until this morning and here I am! Hiiii!

I was supposed to go out tonight but he cancelled. I kind of offered to cancel. I'm a yutz. I know he's completely swamped at his work (a very physical job) this week and really tired from staying up late on Tuesday with me and he didn't catch up last night cause he TOLD me to call him when the concert was over and believe it or not, I babbled for a little bit cause I'm a talker, alright, geesh. So his rest was interupted then. He's working a couple hours ot each night till this project is done, deadline tomorrow. I just figured it would be easier and nicer to let him rest. He lives a little far and it's a haul for both of us and is letting him get a good nights rest so bad? I'm not comfy yet with getting all cozy with someone. I want to take it slow, see how it goes. I'm busy with family stuff until next Tuesday night so, maybe then we'll go out? He mentioned it and it's a probable yes. Seriously, is that so bad? I am going to go out with some girlfriends locally but not to hook up. I never hook up at clubs anyway. It wasn't to go out with my friends. I guess it was not only to give him a chance to rest but also to keep some distance there. I don't know. Usually by the 3rd date I know it's not going to work out. This will be the 5th in just over 2 weeks.

I'm going to get dressed and get the towel off my head so my hair can dry some before I head out. I'm curious what comments I'll get on this one. Boy. This thing took a nosedive. The ride home was still nothing compared to how freaking AWESOME that show was. LOVED IT! Just loved it.

Later, guys. Chat it up with you tomorrow...

PS Hippo, thanks for the help! Good luck with your party!! I mean, Redirts party!!!!!

2006-08-17T14:16:00.000-05:00

There.

My bangs are longer now and I dyed my hair back to being medium brown.

Happy?

Where to begin??

2006-08-17T12:28:00.000-05:00

Holy canoli. Okay, right up front, I feel like babbling like crazy so I already know this post is going to ramble. Now, so do you. Look away, if you must. Read the entire thing, if you can stand it. Keep in mind, I consider myself still kind of new to this blogging stuff PLUS I'm getting over the whole 'I'm not a writer' thing and figure you know that by now so it's on you anymore. This whole post may suck big ole hiney. Forewarned, you are, muahahahahaaa!

Let me start with last evening. I'm not going to do it justice. I don't even know words to describe the concert. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Mom took the kids to Hersheypark yesterday. That worked out perfectly. They wouldn't be home till around midnight and I shouldn't be far behind that. A bit after 3 pm, my friend Tom showed up. I had to borrow my kids godfathers car again cuz the Saaby (Sobby? nah!) isn't finished (but will be today, yay!) I was driving the typical pothole PA Turnpike from exit 236 (4 miles from my house) to 326, Valley Forge, Rt 76. Not long before Downingtown, Tom says he's starting to get hungry. No problem, I know this place. Well, I know lots of places between home and NJ cause I used to commute every day for just over a year. Another story, and yes, I'm a crazy person. Anyway- I took him to Victory Brewing Company. (I'm not a computer geek and don't know how to do that link thing that shows a different name than the actual link so just copy/paste www.victorybeer.com) Their HopDevil won some award in 2003 in Britain. Something like 'Best American Beer' or some shit. I read about it that year and have gone a few times as all my guy friends love beer. Imagine that. Tom has always wanted to go and go we did. The burgers were good but not excellent. Their dinners are excellent. The beer.... excellent. I do not like HopDevil but the Lager is so so yummy. 2 put me in the spot that I wasn't driving now. Tom got behind the wheel and after about an hour, away we went.

We did well, no traffic, until the last 5 miles. Geeezuz. Between 30 second light changes and dumbasses (driving OTHER cars), even I, Miss Notevenaniotaofroadrage was getting irritated. Clocks a ticking and time's a wastin, people! I got a show to get to so MOVE! We are within a block and there is no parking in sight and who knows where to go because there is just a cluster fuck of vehicles everywhere. I see 69th Street is right ahead and there is this meter maid, putting tickets on cars all down the street. I decide who better knows where to park? I call to her and she comes over. I ask where's good and she tells me about 3 different lots, all behind us mind you, and the 45 minutes it will take to turn around and get to them. Bummer dude. She's pretty nice and must see that I'm super bummed and she says- 'alright, you see up ahead just before the light?' 'Yeah.....' 'Well, that has yellow tape around the parking meters. People think it's for the parking but it's really because they are working on the building. That's a spot, so pull in and it'll cost you 50 cents cause you have to pay until 9 but there you go. Have a great time. I'm envious.' I wanted to have mad lesbian sex with her! No, I didn't but Hippo, that was for you;o) We parked 1 block from Tower Theater. 1 block! I think Tom was almost as happy as me but who could tell? He's a very understated person.

We walk up to this place and if you have never been, please go. It's beautiful. Old, majestic, plushy, beautiful. Back in the day, I am sure it was 'the' place. It sits facing the corner and there is marble and burgundy velvet everywhere. The acoustics are probably the best I've ever experienced. Lights low, grabbing stars off the ceiling, just beautiful. ( http://www.glidemagazine.com/7/columns101.html)

Now, I've been to more than my fair share of shows. It just works out that way. I am the type of person that when I want to do something, it usually works out. Sporting events, music, these are high on my interest list so I tend to go, a lot. I absolutely LOVE the song Everlong. Acoustically and rocked out! It's the first song I've ever narrowed down to possibly be 'my favorite'. I have so many songs and bands that I feel move me, and it's pretty incredible for me to come up with just one overall. And sometimes it's still not only that one but yeah, that song is in me. Foo Fighters are great but until last night, I had no idea. No clue. There are much more than great. David Grohl, no, everyone of them, very talented, very professional, very...... oh man, no words. The show is a physical experience. I know it wasn't just me. Most of the time there was not a lot of yelling or clapping (thankfully!) because we all just wanted to hear, listen, hang on each note, each lyric. My stomach was light and fluttery, I got goosebumps and my heart actually tugged. They talked enough but not too much. It was about the music, where it came from, how it came to be and then, what it IS. Now, I'm not a patient person for the most part and acoustic shows tend to bore me a bit. I love acoustic music but not an acoustic show, if you know what I mean. I get to thinking 'oh shut up and play' or 'for the love of God, play something a bit more alive pleeease' but last night, not one thing was out of order. The slow, the fast, the words, the history, the single note, each instrument singularly and then, profoundly melded together. I'm trying to figure out how to get to NY or Boston or Toronto or by golly, Chicago or F it, California, here I come! Except I can't due to the hectic schedule of my life. Or can I??????

They are making a dvd of the show. I will buy it. A cd is to be released soon. I will buy it. If you can make it to a show, I suggest you go. Hopefully the place you see it is 1/2 as beautiful and perfectly tuned as Tower Theater. I know the Foos will not let you down.

This is a really long post and I hope you get even a little bit of the way I felt last night. I really wish I was more eloquent for you. I wish you could have been there. We'd a had fun!

Freaking cars.

2006-08-15T17:02:00.000-05:00

I am going to complain in this post. I'm not a complainer for the most part. Today? Today I'm going to try it on. Alright, so in the spring I bought this cute little used Saab. It was supposed to be for my oldest daughter, Denna. At the time she was 16 and we 'thought' she was going to get her license soon. Ya with me? All good, right? I'm an awesome mom buying this for her before she even had a license, yes? Wellllll one day she was driving with my mom on the way home from guitar and she was doing 65, 66 in a 55 and my mom tells her she needs to slow it down a bit. Denna, all knowing teen that she is, says 'they don't even think about pulling you over until you're doing 70'. Two things. 1) How the hell does she know? b) Wrong ANSWER, Kitten! So, no license for a bit. Turns out she didn't want the Saab anyway, it's a manual. Whatever, she's going to learn manual just because my daughter is going to be able to drive whatever is in front of her if there is ever an emergency that she would need to.

In the mean time, my van (yes a minivan. Warning: Not a word out of you.) takes a dump. I am pissed but there's this guy that will fix it and blah blah blah. Whatever, fix it and get it back to me. That was...... May? Don't have it back yet. Another story and I'm not in the mood. Back to the Saab. I have it and it's just sitting there and so, I drive it. Oh man, it's cute and peppy for a little 4 banger and it's fuuuun to drive. Sunroof. Cool tunes. I'm digging a car? Yep, a car. I'm kind of a truck/suv girl in my heart. But this little baby, with 28 mpg, is niiice. So, I'm driving back from my office over in da burg yesterday morning and what's that? Above the hood. Smoke? Is that smoke?? Oh shit! I'm on the phone with my cellular carrier cause I can't log in to pay my bill, they changed everything and now I have to gobut she's not done with me. But I have to go. So I'm like-listen, I will figure this out when I get home, IF I get home. You did a great job so let me GO! Her (southern accent): Well thank you, have I answered all of your questions today? Click. Anyway. My temp gage was nearing the red. Uh oh. I want to try to make it to my mechanics place and he is only about 4 miles yet. I better not. So I pull over and wait and wait and wait. I can see where the fluid is steaming out. It's from a hose that runs from the radiator to the engine. Right where the clampy thingy is beside the engine, there popped a leak. I have antifreeze in my trunk. I fill it up and I'm on my way. I call the mechanic. Tell him I have to have the car back and running by tomorrow late afternoon, can it be done?? He says no problem. ....... ......... ........Here I sit. I have a date tonight with someone nice- that hot one from last week. And here I sit. I'm not ready for anyone to be at my house just yet. The mechanic hasn't called and well, he's not answering either. Dammmm dammmdammdam! I'm just complaining.

By the way, tomorrow night, Foo Fighters acoustic show in Philly. Gots my tickets and ready to roll. You know. If I have a car. (I will rent one, you got me???)

I'm still not feeling it with this writing thing. I'm impatient. I've noticed that. I'm trying though! You can tell me if I suck. I don't mind. Facts are facts. I'm outty fer now. Byes!

Oh. And yeah.

2006-08-08T14:07:00.000-05:00

Today would have been my 18th? wedding anniversary. Wow. That's right. 8-8-88. At 8 pm. I know, sick. Shoulda been a sign, huh? Everyones name in my family begins with a 'D'. What was I thinking??? Oh well, it's all good- NOW!

NOOOOoooooo...ooo...oo...oo...o...o... (cough, cough)

2006-08-08T13:57:00.000-05:00

I have a mouse. A mouse. At this time of the year. What the heck is going on in the world?? The animals are requiring air conditioning now or what? So, I hear this noise. Rustling, really. I'm at my computer which is just outside the kitchen area. I walk over and open the cupboard. YES! There you are you little bugger! He looks at me, I look at him. I tell him, 'You know... You should leave.' He looks at me in his smug little 'yagottacatchmefirst' way. I then tell him, 'I have tools, you know. Implements of destruction. Things that will make you scream.' He stares me down. He might be winning the stare contest, actually. Not a freaking blink. I give him one last chance. 'If you leave, you can save us both a lot of trouble. I'm committed to a fight to the end.' I've given him fair warning. There will be no surprises. He will succumb. He then runs RIGHT AT ME and leaps, gliding through the air, landing on MY LEG! AGHHHHH! He looks at me for a split second with his beady little eyes, the evil laughter emitting from deep in his throat and he jumps away. Parting words shooting over his shoulder 'We'll see who wins'.

I'm scared.

Rapid... or not!

2006-08-07T09:42:00.000-05:00

Did you ever notice how it doesn't matter WHAT you have planned, that your kids whine and moan and bitch about it?

Alright, so here's how the weekend went. Friday night, no kiddies. First, met Patrick for a lite dinner. He is 45 and French and his accent is beautiful. He is beautiful. And loaded. For some reason, I am not attracted 'like that'. It's a shame, I should be! After, I went out with a boatload of friends. Literally. We went out on the river and we had fun and it was very peaceful. I was not. I was in the mood to parrrr-tay! We hung out there for a bit and then decided time to go. Kelly, the other boat owner had been a bitch all night. First telling my friend Ben that he wasn't invited. Then telling Sandy and Don (a very cool older couple, prob around 55ish) that she didn't like them anyway. WTF? Then letting me know that she 'will have' my friend Nate (a very adorable 28 yr old friend of mine from Ohio, who is MARRIED and works here through the week) but she can't let her fiance find out. What an asshole. I didn't want to be around her anymore, especially trapped out in the middle of a mile wide riverand me all fired up and fiesty anyway. No fighting, not into that kind of drama so, time to go! We went back to shore (left her and the 2 other people that wanted to stay) out there. We went to the Alpine, my dive, and grabbed a drink. Then we decided to go to a place I've never been to before. I had heard a lot about it.... it was more of a dive than my dive. They said that I, being all of 5'1" could touch the ceiling. I gotta see this! All of us in our swimsuits with flouncy coverings. Nice. Away we went! I bought the first round and am still astounded. Get this. 4 mix drinks, 3 drafts and a pepsi for $9.80. I KNOW! No cover plus there was a dj who played anything we wanted. So, this cop I met there, he is a cutie. He bought my drinks for the rest of the night. Cops are so funny. They will get you completely loaded and then offer to take you home so you 'don't have to drink and drive'. Not this time, Copper! We left there and went back to the 'pine for last call. All night, I had this dude text messaging me. I met him on an internet dating site and we're becoming great friends and I kid you not, if he didn't live 8 hours away, it'd be on. Serious, ON! I'm totally infatuated with him! Oh yeah, my ex bf (a cop too, no I'm not 'into' cops) wanted to come back to my place. Nah. Wanted to follow me home to make sure I got there okay. Sure! You're not stepping one foot inside but you can be sure I get home okay you dipshit EX boyfriend. (He's got issues and I have issues with his issues.)

Saturday, I woke up at 7:15 am!!!!! Went and picked up my friend Tracy, went to the pet store for crickets (for the frogger:) then to my place to change into swimmies so we could go out on the boat and get a tan. Stopped for lunch at Dukes Riverside (yummy crab pretzel mmm!) and then to the boat. Tom, my best friend, met us there and drove around while we lazed. I know I was supposed to leave for WV then but my kids grandma bought them something and they wanted to go up to see her (about an hour away) with their dad so I let them. I'd pick them up early in the morning and then we'd go rafting. So, that guy from yonder, he called. Actually, he has his friend call and say something about me being hot or sexy or some crap but I couldn't hear him so them 'mah boi' got on the phone and we joked for the 20 seconds his nextel piece of junk held a signal. Around 8 pm, we came off the river and I took Trace home and then Tom and I went for dinner at JoJo's my favorite pizza joint. The building used to be a firehouse and I love it! I came home and watched Timeline on Sci Fi by myself and went to sleep.

In the morning, I picked up los banditos and we headed to the Shenandoah River in WV. Whine moan complain we don't wanna go why do you make us you're so mean......... Whatever. You're going. It is absolutely beautiful there! Absolutely! We stopped at the rafting place and they said the river was very low and it was class 1 to maybe 2 in areas. Well, I'm not paying that kind of dough to drift along on glass. And probably get out and pull the freaking boat a bunch of times due to rocks. What to do? Well..... the boogie boards are in the trunk of my car so we grabbed them and went and played on our own along the C&O canal. We had a BUHLAST! We kind of swam and the fun part for me is when we explore. We look for different forms of life. We notice the leaves and the clouds and the rocks and slope of the bank. We look for tracks and holes for 'what lives in there?'. We dig and turn over stuff and it's good fun. Some tubers come down through and one guy with his daughter stopped and played with us for a bit. It was fun! So, there we are skipping rocks into this little pool where the stream spills into the river and I say, okay gang, it's time to head. What do I hear? Whine moan complain we don't wanna go why do you make us you're so mean. Whatever. You're going.

Yeah.

2006-08-07T08:55:00.000-05:00

I thought this was interesting. I'm not really surprised except I thought I might be more committed to hell by Lust. hehe!

Greed:	Very Low
Gluttony:	Very Low
Wrath:	Low
Sloth:	Low
Envy:	Very Low
Lust:	Medium
Pride:	Low

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

How's about West Virginny?

2006-08-03T13:16:00.000-05:00

I do believe I'm going to pack up los banditos this Saturday afternoon and head to the beautiful WV. There are some nice, easy class 3 (right now) rivers out there that the kids would get a kick out of riding down in a big yeller raft. I've never taken them along rafting and maybe to Jim Thorpe, here in PA, might be easier but there is something about the hills in WV. One. After. The. Other. I think it's one of the prettiest states I've been in. And those southern peeps have such a sense of humor and good manners. It's obvious they are good sports when I pick on them about their relatives/lovers. Oh you know what I mean. When I was out in the spring (cold but superior ride!), some girl kissed her bf goodnight while we are all still out at the fire ring and I asked- that your sister? We all laughed and then, after a second or two of quiet, I was like, So is she? Now we all know though, that those kinds of rumors started with some basis of truth so....... but who am I to judge? I just make sure my car is in working order and I know my way. There will be no Wrong Turn made by me! Think of me on Sunday as I work it down the Cheat or the New or Yough. I don't know which yet. This is just a last minute thought. Should be quite cool in this heat! Good idea, isn't it?? Friday night, I don't have the kiddies or I'd leave then. They will be with their Daddyo and I'll have my boat (28' double deck pontoon, rated for 14 people) out on the Susquehanna River in Goldsboro, right beside TMI by the way, tied up with my friend Kelly (20' pontoon, rated 8 people) and a bunch of our friends with fishing, a cookout and party on. Hence the leaving Sat AFTERNOON. Yeah.

For now, I'm outty. I keep trying this writing stuff and when I get more comfy with the day to day bs, I'll might maybe try out something a little deeper and more personal. I'm not really one to unfold my life for others, I've been told. I believe the word used was 'guarded'. I consider that to be a character flaw so maybe this will help me open up and trust people. It's not fair holding someone accountable for anothers actions and that might be what I've been doing. In a twisted, bizarro, self-preserving kinda way. Or maybe I just prefer to let people bury themselves and do their own little elimination process from my life. Which seems to happen every time.

Freaking hell, Dr. Ethel. I'm hungry for a snack (gonna be a late dinner, gots me a date with a hot one) and want Doritos but thanks to your post yesterday, I can't bring myself to do it. Shit.

South Carolina

2006-07-31T10:21:00.000-05:00

Wow. I mean it, wow. I love it down there! It's not like the Jersey Shore or MD or DE where you go to the edge of the water and stand in the smallest possible surf trying to get used to the frigid temp so you can spend 1/2 hour in the water before your lips turn blue and your breath is tight in your lungs. This place... Isle of Palms... you walk across a semi crowded beach. Not tripping over everyone, not blanket to blanket. So you get to the edge of the water and dip your tootsie in and expect a searing cold (yeah, searing cold) spike through your foot. Instead, it's WARM! Thoughts of From Here To Eternity rush to mind and now I get it. I never really understood how they could have just laid there in the water and kiss. Yeah yeah, I don't get South often, how bout it? I'm not one to lay out much so I spent like 4 hours straight in the water, bobbing up and down (hey now, Hippo, stop that line of thought.) . Of course, you have those guys there too. You know... those guys! The ones that think they are soooo smart placing themselves in the right spot so when the waves come, they body surf right into you and of course, they are SO surprised and apologetic. 'Sorry bout grabbing your leg like that, I didn't know what I ran into'... 'Hey, that was close, I almost knocked you down!'... yeah yeah. You can see them, feel them, lining up. Placing themselves just far enough back. It's like they are stalking you, closing in for the kill. This spanish guy got me good and almost ripped my top off. I gave him a finger in the face and told him that he better get away from me cause I don't want to upset my firefighter boyfriend who is watching. Yeah, I know, there is no boyfriend. I don't get why that stuff happens. It seems like I always get the agressive jerks hitting on me. On the way home, with two of my kids in the back seat of the car, some guy in a Lexus suv thing waved and honked and made tongue motions at me and mouthed to me 'wow' and that I'm sexy. Right. And I'm going to pull over this instant and give you the best blow job ever cause I just can't handle your animal magnetism. What do they think is going to happen? Wait, does that happen?? Like ever??? Okay, for the record let me just say there are 3 kinds of people that hit on me. The list includes 'retards'. I'm sorry, I know that's not politically correct. I don't mean real truly challenged people. I just mean guys that are freaking retarded.

I'll tell you, I can't stay on a topic line to save my life. So, back to SC. It is beautiful and fun and great water, nice waves for boarding and even some surfing later in the evening. My friend, Patti, had a birthday on Saturday so we got a sitter for the kiddies and headed to Shem Creek area. A place called Red's was so much fun! It rained as we headed out but it stopped and the open deck area and outdoor bars were perfect for what we were looking for. It seems like the 26-28 year olds are the ones that I tend to attract. Patti gets the 35ish ones after her. We had a blast. The band was getting the funk on. We also called a bartender from our local bar to tell him how much we appreciate the typical double shot for one and his expertise in knowing so many drinks. I've been to Baltimore, Boston, NYC, DC and now SC in the past 6 weeks and I can't get the first drink I order, EVER. Usually not the second or the third either. We did get Washington Apples and they were good. Small but good. I'm not even a big drinker but I do like the mix drinks. Oh, they make a banging Lemon Drop. Exactly.

One more thing before I head off of here. Patti has a black Dale Earnhart Special Edition Monte Carlo. It goes fast without her trying. We were on 95 most of the way. She said she was trying to keep it in a decent limit cause my kids were with us. She got a ticket on the way down about an hour before our destination. $180 buckerooos due to doing 91 in a 65 zone. Sucky but you know, she doesn't let anyone else drive that thing so whatev, right? On the way home, last night around 1 am, she got pulled over on 95 in MD, just north of DC. About and hour before my place. Yep. Another ticket. This one he changed it from doing 83 in 55 to 64 in 55. Saved her a bunch of dough. Teach her a lesson? What do you think? Yeah, I don't think so either.

Alright, I do have some things to get to today. Like laundry. A bottle of wine broke in my luggage so that's first. All over my pretty white nightie, arggghhh! Wish me luck.

Giving it a go

2006-07-21T10:15:00.000-05:00

Well hello. Here I am again. I read others blogs often and barely think of mine. A friend told me that I should write a book. Basically because I'm busy not because I'm a writer. I can tell decent stories but to sit here and put it all into words... I find I get too wordy. I tend to use the same words over. I'm just not a writer.

So, last week I got an award. It's my second one in two years. Business related. The first one was because I am a woman (See, Redirt? I am a girl.) I wasn't very proud of that one. I don't believe in getting something just because of your gender. Alright, so I was up against other women and turned out to be the one to get it but basically, I think equal opportunity and minority 'perks' for business are bull. I want it to be about who is best, not who is best out of the girls. If I suck, let me suck. This one was national and amongst girls and guys, so much more cool! I like this one!

Already I am off track. Getting back... So, this guy from Ohio and his wife organized the trip. Very cool couple in their mid 40's. Through talking over the past few months, we find we have some things in common. One of which is sports. I love sports and competition. I don't play anything at all right now but would like to get back into softball. (and not be a lesbian. Is that allowed?) So, this guy, Greg, says the last time he was on the east coast was in 79 and he went to Yankee Stadium. Yeah, baby, my team. So we talk about the possibilities of going to a game. It's on. They fly into BWI and we go to an Orioles game. The next day, we all fly to Boston and catch a Red Suck Ass Sox game. By the way, Hippo, you were right. Traffic was insane. Those people driving are insane. We didn't have time to get to the hotel before the game even and had to park not so nearby. The game was just as I wanted it- BoSox lost. Now get this, they were playing Oakland and had their butts handed to them. Walking out, what were they chanting? Yankees suck. Oh really? Do the math.

At any rate, I would like to mention, Bostonians aside, that is the most beautiful park and a really beautiful city. I've been to 12 stadiums and I assure you, Wrigley is cool but not like Fenway. PNC, Camden, nothing like Fenway. Even if you are not a baseball fan, the history and architecture makes it worthwhile. Just beautiful.

About the Bostonians. WTF? Mean to everyone, even each other. No beer in the stands, what is THAT? Security's phone number announced every 1/2 inning. Holy canoli. It's not like that anywhere else. Not even US Cellular located in Chighetto.

I'm running out of time. See what I mean though? Too many words to get my point across and that is when I'm seriously cutting down on details. I'll talk about NY, the awards dinner cruise, coming back home to south central PA (freaking nightmare) and the Lynard Skynard/3 Doors Down concert another time. And The Alpine, my dive bar last call hang out. And the boat. And that guy, I'll talk about that guy soon. I'm going to SC for vaca middle of next week, so it might be when I get back??

Anywho, thanks Summer! You're a sweetie!

Why... why .... why.......

2006-07-06T10:12:00.000-05:00

So, I was asked why I started a blog. Well, I'm not a writer, that's for sure. I'm real busy, always. I spend time on the computer every day but it's usually actually working, reading up on things for business or trying to figure out what baseball player is starting a nice hitting streak or who's hot on the mound as opposed to writing down my feelings or thoughts or whatever. In fact, I've never been able to keep a diary or any consistent documentation on anything except employees who suck and make me do things I don't want to do. Will this turn into a place I regularly post? Not a clue. I do, however, enjoy reading other peoples blogs. The ones where the people are (or should be) writers. I want to be able to comment on their blogs. I guess that's why I signed this up. Because no one allows anonymous commenting. Chickens. Alright, I'm new to this but could anyone tell me how to hit enter and get to a new paragraph?? I'm not stupid but I am a bit impatient on certain things. Computers, way impatient. When I learn that, I'll tell you about the guy that gave me his blog and I think it the coolest guy I've ever spoken with. He lives too far away but he's still my kind of cupcake! Someone educate me!!!

For what? For nothin!!

2006-06-29T18:10:00.000-05:00

No time, no time. Just set this up so I can make a smart butt comment on someone else's blog. He hasn't any idea I'm in here yet! This will be fun!